Be a REAL FRIEND !!!!

For many, the holidays are a joyful time of year. They get to spend time with family and friends. Some people like to give gifts, others like to receive them. Some do a little of both. There are parties and family gatherings.
But for some, the holidays are very tough. There is a lot of stress – to find the perfect gift, to even afford gifts! Some parents get depressed because they cannot afford to offer the kind of Christmas to their children that they would like to. It can be an especially depressing time of the year for the elderly.  They may be plagued by loneliness and isolation. Many have lost spouses and remembering those that have passed away makes the holidays even harder to bear. And with shorter, darker days this time of year, some people experience more depression.
So how can you help someone who may be depressed during the holidays?
1. Give them some of your time
Sometimes the best present is your presence. Spend the night at your grandma’s house. Hand out candy canes at an assisted living center. Bring some funny movies and popcorn over to a friend’s house for the afternoon. You don’t necessarily have to make grand gestures, just spend a little of your time with them.
2. Get them out of the house
Maybe it is just a trip to the local coffee shop, but getting them outside of their home can give a depressed person something to look forward to. Take your friend who can’t afford to fly home for the holidays out to dinner. Bundle up and meet them for a walk. The exercise, crisp air and company will do wonders for their mood.
3. Send them a card
Personally, I am a huge fan of greeting cards. I tend to make a lot of them myself and send them throughout the year to friends and family because isn’t it nice to get something other than bills in the mailbox? A holiday card let’s them know that you are thinking of them and it is something they can hold onto, something that reminds them every time they look at it that they are important to someone.
4. Volunteer to help
When I am depressed I can barely get out of bed, let alone think of going shopping. Take on the task of helping a depressed person by picking up things they need – be it groceries or their prescriptions. I’m not asking you to pay for these things, merely do the leg work. It will be so appreciated.
5. Be patient
Don’t expect miracles. Doing any of these things or more isn’t likely to “snap them out of their depression.” Depression just isn’t something you “snap out of.” But these things will help. And, in time, their mood will lift, as mine always does. Don’t get fed up with them for their lack of enthusiasm or holiday spirit. Recognize that depression is real and intensely dark. Let your goal be to simply shine a little light.

A New Start

Divorce is a life-altering process. It involves court dates, dividing assets, negotiating child custody, and a roller coaster of emotions. A divorce can leave you hurt, confused, and emotionally worn out. After a divorce, it may seem like your life is over, however; that is not the case. There is life after divorce. Here are some tips on how to get things back on track after dealing with a divorce: Give Yourself Time to Heal Allow yourself time to grieve the loss of your relationship. Accept that it’s over and take a step back and consider what you learned from the situation. A failed relationship, although difficult, can teach us a lot about what we want in future relationships. Let go of feelings of regret. Write in a journal to keep track of your emotions. Spend Time with Loved Ones Surround yourself with friends and family. Talk to a therapist if you’re feeling down. While you may not want to bring up painful memories from your past, sharing your thoughts with people who care about you is a great way to gain new perspective and to move past difficult periods in your life. Stay open and honest with your friends and family. Keep them in the loop. Update them on how you’re doing. Accept their support and advice. Break Out of Your Rut As hard as it may be, get yourself out of bed and make some plans for the day. Get to the gym. Being active for a half hour each day is clinically proven to help fight anxiety, depression, and stress. Sign up for classes or get involved in new hobbies that you’ve always wanted to. Accept social invitations and meet new friends. Hanging out with new groups of people will open new doors for you and will help to pull you out of your rut. Volunteer in Your Community One of the best ways to give yourself a mental break from your problems is to spend some time helping others. Volunteering is a great way to make a difference in someone else’s life, meet new friends, and feel good about yourself. Volunteering has been proven to increase your self confidence, combat depression, and make you feel like you are a part of your local community. When it’s Time to Get Back Out There After you feel that you have fully moved on, you can begin easing back into the dating world. Make sure that you feel ready yourself and that you are not accepting dates as a result of your friends pressuring you into getting back into the scene. At first, it may be hard to open up to strangers, but make a point of giving people a chance. According to marriage and family therapist, Lisa Paz, Ph.D, if dating feels good, it’s not too soon. If you feel like you’re forcing it, then you may need some more time to heal before trying again. When you’re ready to date, a great way to get back into the singles scene is to give Catholic Singles.com.  The service gives you access to over 700 million dating profiles and is a great way for busy people to meet eligible singles. Once you register on the site, you’ll be asked to take a quick quiz, which only consists of questions capability and of Faith.  You will then upload a photo and create a profile. Catholic Singles will then pair you with prospective matches and will show you a list of potential partners. You will see their photos, basic description, and the number of quiz questions that you both had in common. You will then be able to chat with these people to see if you are truly compatible. Moving on from a divorce is a process that takes time but is eventually something that you will move past. By applying the steps above, you’ll be one step closer to putting your life back together and feeling like your old self again! -