Eternal Physician

Since, Thanksgiving and Christmas of 1996, My Pop's death took me back a 1000 feet.  I have experienced a feeling I had never felt before this particular Christmas. Since afterwards every Holy season I started to worry that depression would take hold, and I won’t be ready for it.

My depression has started to creep up on me and it’s not even Thanksgiving yet. Luckily, I went to my own personal Psychologist to see about increasing the milligrams of my antidepressant, I preparing for a potential Holiday depression?  He told me with the Faith that I have there is no need to recommend any medicine. He continued to say, Christ Is the Eternal Physician.  Allow Christ to provide you with the balance and order this Holy Season. For the first time I am taking a step prior to a depression that might not even be that bad, but, I think it is better to prepare for things when you have a history of seasonal depression.

My Trust in Christ the Eternal Physician Is providing me with everything that Is needed to take care of business and provide care to humanity. 

8 ways to forgive yourself and let go of your past

 Question:   I enjoyed your articles about forgiving other people, but how do you forgive yourself and move on when you have made many mistakes? That is what I struggle with.

Answer:  You are not alone. Most of us hold on to past mistakes and let them affect our self-esteem for way too long. This is not healthy and does not serve anyone. Here are eight suggestions that may help you to forgive yourself:

1. Look at the past experiences as locations on your journey through life, instead of letting them define who you areIf you were on a road trip and drove through Texas, would the time you spent there make you a Texan? Of course not. It was just the location you drove through; it doesn’t change who you are. Your value is the same no matter what you experience along your journey. Mistakes teach you important lessons, but they don’t define who you are — at least they don't have to. You can see them as locations on your journey if you choose to.

2. Give yourself permission to be a work in progressChoose to see life as a classroom, not a testing center. You have the option to believe that your value isn’t on the line here and you are not being graded — you are just here to learn and grow. Seeing life as a classroom helps you focus on the lessons so you can forgive yourself and try to do better next time.

3. Understand how pointless shame isI believe "shame" stands for: should have already mastered everything. That is ridiculous. You are a student in the classroom of life. There is no way could know it all, all the time. Give yourself permission to be an imperfect work in progress. You are learning and growing and that is enough.

4. Figuratively get rid of it for goodYou could write it down on paper and burn it. You could write what you did, put it in a box and bury it in the backyard. Then make a rule that you can’t bring it up again, unless you dig the box up first. (This exercise is great for couples who keep fighting about the past too.) Bury that stuff deep and let it die there. There is no sense wasting energy on things you can’t change. Focus on the future instead.

5. Learn some new skillsFocus on making your future brighter. This is in your control. Be present and find ways to improve yourself daily. Learning new skills is great for your self-esteem.
6. Imagine there is a dark room in your house where you can stash negative thoughts and emotionsEvery time negative thoughts show up, which aren't worth processing anymore, visualize putting them in the dark room and slamming the door. You can always go in there, if you need to process it some more and dwell in self-pity. But you could also leave the negativity in the dark room forever. This empowers you to have control over what to do with those feelings.

7. Clean out your closets and your houseMost people, who hold on to old stuff, are also holding on to old ways of thinking and feeling. When you get rid of your old stuff, you can send your old beliefs, mistakes and fears out with it. Cleaning your house out will make you feel fresh and new on every level.

8. Change it up and try new thingsBreak out of your old ruts and change some things. Try new outfit combinations, new foods, new restaurants, new sports or new kinds of movies. The more you break out of routine and change it up, you will also open yourself up to feel differently about yourself and your life.Steve Maraboli, in his book "Life, the Truth, and Being Free," said “Incredible change happens in your life when you decide to take control of what you do have power over instead of craving control over what you don’t.” The past is out of your control; there is nothing you can do to change it. Let it go.

Choose joy for today.

You can do this. 

Be a REAL FRIEND !!!!

For many, the holidays are a joyful time of year. They get to spend time with family and friends. Some people like to give gifts, others like to receive them. Some do a little of both. There are parties and family gatherings.
But for some, the holidays are very tough. There is a lot of stress – to find the perfect gift, to even afford gifts! Some parents get depressed because they cannot afford to offer the kind of Christmas to their children that they would like to. It can be an especially depressing time of the year for the elderly.  They may be plagued by loneliness and isolation. Many have lost spouses and remembering those that have passed away makes the holidays even harder to bear. And with shorter, darker days this time of year, some people experience more depression.
So how can you help someone who may be depressed during the holidays?
1. Give them some of your time
Sometimes the best present is your presence. Spend the night at your grandma’s house. Hand out candy canes at an assisted living center. Bring some funny movies and popcorn over to a friend’s house for the afternoon. You don’t necessarily have to make grand gestures, just spend a little of your time with them.
2. Get them out of the house
Maybe it is just a trip to the local coffee shop, but getting them outside of their home can give a depressed person something to look forward to. Take your friend who can’t afford to fly home for the holidays out to dinner. Bundle up and meet them for a walk. The exercise, crisp air and company will do wonders for their mood.
3. Send them a card
Personally, I am a huge fan of greeting cards. I tend to make a lot of them myself and send them throughout the year to friends and family because isn’t it nice to get something other than bills in the mailbox? A holiday card let’s them know that you are thinking of them and it is something they can hold onto, something that reminds them every time they look at it that they are important to someone.
4. Volunteer to help
When I am depressed I can barely get out of bed, let alone think of going shopping. Take on the task of helping a depressed person by picking up things they need – be it groceries or their prescriptions. I’m not asking you to pay for these things, merely do the leg work. It will be so appreciated.
5. Be patient
Don’t expect miracles. Doing any of these things or more isn’t likely to “snap them out of their depression.” Depression just isn’t something you “snap out of.” But these things will help. And, in time, their mood will lift, as mine always does. Don’t get fed up with them for their lack of enthusiasm or holiday spirit. Recognize that depression is real and intensely dark. Let your goal be to simply shine a little light.