Thursday, July 26, 2012

Relief and Resolve

There is always something on TV to scare us. Hysterical articles in the media sell papers and attract eyeballs to websites, but usually exaggerate facts. If you listen without evaluating what you’re being told, it’s easy to become frightened. There’s a reason why I don’t usually waste time and energy on panic and drama.
I see the negative results of panic every day. People get upset, they’re afraid of emotional consequences and they overreact, which can actually create the consequences they fear.
Panic is an overreaction to a real (or even imagined) problem. Frightening yourself beyond the real need to deal with a problem puts your body into fight or flight mode as though your life were immediately threatened.

Emotional panic can create a shutdown of feelings, so you’re in a state of shock. You cannot think clearly, make good responses or decisions. In panic, we do not retain information, absorb what we hear or accurately assess the situation. Panic is the worst thing you can do in a real emergency, and if the situation is not dire, panic will make it worse.
Panic is a natural startle reaction that gets exaggerated and becomes prolonged. People often learn to panic because, in early childhood, panic can get us out of responsibilities. Freaking out, crying, throwing temper tantrums, or shutting down are all panic responses small children use which cause some competent adult to take over and become the hero.
This can be okay once in a while, but as this pattern repeats, it becomes rescuing and codependency. Panic creates drama, unnecessary and damaging exaggeration of the problem, which leads to dysfunctional responses and overblown family drama.

Resolve Your Anxiety Today
To learn to let go, you may find these few steps can help resolve your fear and anxiety.


1. Learn to recognize the signs of your own panic.
If you feel the telltale signs of panic, which include a racing or pounding heartbeat, flushing of the face or body and mental confusion, you are in a state of panic. If you are shouting, saying unreasonable things, or just saying whatever comes out of your mouth, without thinking about consequences, you are also in a state of panic.


2. Take some deep breaths.
Deep breathing will calm your body and burn off the adrenaline that’s been released in the panic. Slow down, count to ten and focus on thinking clearly and factually rather than reacting emotionally.
If you don’t understand how to do deep breathing, you can learn how to do a deep breathing exercise here.


3. Take responsibility to figure out what you’re afraid of.
Unless you’re in immediate, direct danger, what’s scaring or upsetting you is probably not as urgent as you think. Make a list of what you’re afraid of that help you move beyond free-floating anxiety and you will begin to think more clearly.


4. Check the facts.
Is what’s on the news really true? Do we have an epidemic, or only 11 confirmed cases in Calfornia? Does the source you’re listening to have something to gain by putting you in a panic? Are they trying to sell you something, get federal funding, or get elected? Are you reacting to someone else’s panic? Get some facts about whatever is frightening you. Is there a real, immediate threat or is it just wise to be cautious? Is your partner actually going to abandon you, or is he or she just angry about something?


5. Make a decision and take some action tackling each fear.
If it’s a health fear, perhaps better hygiene or a talk with your doctor will resolve it. If it’s a relationship fear, finding out what your partner is really thinking, instead of guessing, will probably make more sense.


Get a flu shot, go for relationship therapy or have a good talk with your partner or family member.


6. Sell yourself on a positive outcome.
Think of all the possible great outcomes of the changes you’re making. Consider what you will learn, and how much better your life and relationships will be without the panic.
With a calmer outlook, you’ll be able to make better decisions and create a more successful outcome. I wish you peace, within yourself, within your family, within the world.

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

CURE

Trusted Family, Loved Ones, and a Very Holy Religious are an excellent cure to any depressive experience.

Sunday, July 15, 2012

Unresolved Grief


There is no definite point in time or a list of symptoms that define unresolved grief. The term unresolved grief (sometimes called prolonged or chronic grief) is grief that lasts longer than usual for a person’s social circle or cultural background. It may also be used to describe grief that does not go away or interferes with the person’s ability to take care of daily responsibilities.

Complicated grief is a period of intense grief and anxiety that lasts 6 months or more. Complicated grief responds well to counseling.  Dr. Losito a grief counselor can help you work through your grief and learn to accept your loss.

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Avoidance Personality Disorder

Avoidance personality disorder is characterized by feelings of extreme social inhibition, inadequacy, and sensitivity to negative criticism and rejection. Yet the symptoms involve more than simply being shy or socially awkward. Avoid ant personality disorder causes significant problems that affect the ability to interact with others and maintain relationships in day-to-day life. About 1% of the general population has avoid ant personality disorder.

Unresolved grief tends to be more common in people who:

  • Are unsure how they feel about the person, object, or situation they lost.
  • Have a negative opinion of themselves (low self-esteem).
  • Feel guilty about the loss, such as people who think they could have prevented a serious accident or death.
  • Think the loss was a result of unfairness, such as losing a job from apparent discrimination or losing a loved one as a result of a violent act.
  • Experienced the unexpected or violent death of a loved one. People who experience a traumatic loss are at risk for developing post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
  • Experience a loss that others do not recognize as significant, such as miscarriage, retirement, or losses related to aging.

How people express unresolved grief varies. People may:

  • Act as though nothing has changed. They may refuse to talk about the loss.
  • Become preoccupied with the memory of the memory lost object or person. They may not be able to talk or think about anything else.
  • Become overly involved with work or a hobby.
  • Drink more alcohol, smoke more cigarettes, or take more medicines.
  • Become overly concerned about their health in general or about an existing health condition and see a doctor more often than usual.
  • Become progressively depressed or isolate themselves from other people.

In addition to the list above, teens, may show unresolved grief by using illegal drugs, taking part in illegal activities (such as stealing), or having unprotected sex. They may also become more accident-prone, avoid their friends, and have difficulty completing school work.

Young children may show unresolved grief by developing behavior problems or expressing fears about being alone, especially at night.

People with unresolved grief who do not seek treatment are more likely to develop complications such as depression as a result of grieving.

GREIF Y DEPRESSION




When you lose someone or something dear to you, it's natural to feel PAIN and GRIEF. The grief process is a very normal response, and most people experience it. But when grief encompasses your life and you begin to feel hopeless, helpless, and worthless, then it's time to talk to your doctor about grief and depression.

What Is Grief?


Grief is a natural response to death or loss. Each year, between 5% and 9% of the population sustain the loss of a close family member. But that's not the only kind of loss that can cause grief. People can feel loss when:

  • A loved one dies
  • They become separated from a loved one
  • They lose a job, position, or income
  • A pet dies or runs away
  • Kids leave home
  • They experience a major change in life such as getting a divorce, moving, becoming an "empty nester," or retiring

While we all experience grief and loss, each of us is unique in the ways we cope with our feelings.

Some people have healthy coping skills. They are able to experience grief without losing sight of their daily responsibilities. The grieving process is an opportunity for someone to appropriately mourn a loss and then heal. It's facilitated by acknowledging grief, allowing time for grief to work, and finding support.

Other people, however, don't have the coping mechanisms or support they need. That lack actually hinders the grieving process.

How Do People React to Grief and Loss?


There are specific stages of grief. They reflect common reactions people have as they try to make sense of a loss. An important part of the healing process is experiencing and accepting the feelings that come as a result of the loss. Here are the common stages of grief that people go through:

  • Denial, experiencing the intensity of the loss. It can actually be useful when the grieving person has to take some action such as planning a funeral, notifying relatives, or reviewing important papers. As the individual moves through the experience and slowly acknowledges its impact, the initial denial and disbelief will diminish.
  • Bargaining: This stage of grief may be marked by persistent thoughts about what "could have been done" to prevent the death or loss. Some people become obsessed with thinking about specific ways things could have been done differently to save the person's life or prevent the loss. If this numbness, and shock: Numbness is a normal reaction to a death or loss and should never be confused with "not caring." This stage of grief helps protect the individual from tage of grief is not dealt with and resolved, the individual may live with intense feelings of guilt or anger that can interfere with the healing process.
  • Depression: In this stage of grief, people begin to realize and feel the true extent of the death or loss. Common signs of depression, in this stage include difficulty sleeping, poor appetite, fatigue, lack of energy, and crying spells. The individual may also experience self-pity and feel lonely, isolated, empty, lost, and anxious.
  • Anger: This stage of grief is common. It usually occurs when an individual feels helpless and powerless. Anger can stem from a feeling of abandonment because of a death or loss. Sometimes the individual is angry at a higher power, at the doctors who cared for the loved one, or toward life in general.
  • Acceptance: In time, an individual can move into this stage of grief and come to terms with all the emotions and feelings that were experienced when the death or loss occurred. Healing can begin once the loss becomes integrated into the individual's set of life experiences.

Throughout a person's lifetime, he or she may return to some of the earlier stages of grief, such as depression or anger. Because there are no rules or time limit to the grieving process, each individual's healing process will be different.

Yes do contact Dr. Losito at 877 867 8556 or local clinician, when you experience or someone else is demonstrating these signs.

Grief: When Major Loss Challenges Your Beliefs.

A major loss can challenge your sense of certainty in your belief system and religious faith. You may find yourself examining many of your values and beliefs, including the purpose of life, death, suffering, and whether there is a higher power. Alternately, you may gain comfort, courage, and hope from your religious beliefs during this time.
It is important to distinguish between religion and spirituality.

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  • Religion is a system of faith and worship of a divine being. There are many different types of religions. All religions have certain beliefs, practices, and rituals.

  • Spirituality is one's personal connection with and questions about the deepest meanings or powers governing life. Some people express their spirituality through their religion. Others may have a system of values and beliefs that does not include worship of a divine being.
There are some ways you can help yourself when you are questioning the purpose of life, death, and suffering.
  • Be clear about your feelings. Are you feeling unsure about your religious belief system? Are you angry because you have different beliefs from those of your religion? Are you feeling empty because you do not have a belief system that answers your questions?
  • Allow yourself the right to question. You may feel uncomfortable when you have questions that do not seem to have answers. Give yourself permission to say, "I don't have the answer for that right now," or "I don't know why this happened." Saying this instead of making up an answer or giving someone else's answer is often the first step in discovering what you truly believe.
  • Talk with someone you trust. Talk with someone who will listen to your concerns and will not try to answer your questions for you. If you talk about it, what is bothering you may become more clear and you may find the answers you are looking for.
  • Find a way to handle the feelings that arise. Are you angry with a higher power? Do you want to make a deal with a higher power as a way to avoid further distress and sadness? Are you frustrated with your feelings of helplessness? Do you feel guilty? It is important to recognize your feelings and handle them in the way that helps you resolve them.
  • Find answers to your questions about religious beliefs. If you are confused about a specific religious belief, ask someone who knows the answer. Talk with a clergy person. Read religious books or texts.
  • List your sources of spiritual (or religious) comfort or practices. What gives you comfort in times of questioning? Do you feel the need to be alone or with other people? Are there practices in your religion that you have not done in some time and would like to try again? If needed, talk with someone who can help you list and do some of the things you choose to do.
If you or someone you know is having trouble addressing religious or spiritual questions that arise while grieving,  schedule an appointment with Dr. Losito 877 867 8556, and your local Pastor.  Pastoral counseling, which combines the spiritual expertise of a member of the clergy with the skills of a licensed counselor, may be helpful.