Wednesday, June 26, 2013

What stops you from practicing self-compassion?

1. Self-sabotaging thought: Self-compassion is selfish.
To the contrary, self-compassion actually helps you be more compassionate and more helpful to others. Welford writes, “Having become more self-compassionate, people often report having greater strength to deal with conflicts and to become better friends, parents, and colleagues. Lack of self-compassion, by contrast, means that we are more likely to become immobilized or consumed by our own difficulties and therefore less able to help others.”

2. Self-sabotaging thought: My needs aren’t as important as someone else’s.
Many of us think that other people’s needs trump our own. But here’s what happens when we neglect our needs (including the need for self-compassion): we become depleted and even feel angry, resentful and taken for granted.
Plus, remember that here’s no harm in trying out self-compassion. As Welford writes, “If you still think that the needs of others are more important than your own, start practicing self-compassion for the sake of others. You can always revert back to your old ways if you find it doesn’t help.”

3. Self-sabotaging thought: Self-compassion is weak.
Self-compassion is actually courageous. According to Welford, “It involves facing our difficulties and experiencing a range of emotions that are uncomfortable.” (Yes, it does. Self-compassion is about identifying, acknowledging and expressing our emotions “instead of bottling them up.”)
It also involves “the commitment to change ourselves, which requires courage and strength.”
For instance, being self-compassionate might mean standing up for yourself, even though you’re oh-so used to remaining quiet. It also might mean letting people see the real you.

4. Self-sabotaging thought: Self-compassion sets us up for falls or failure.
There’s a common fear that if you don’t expect the worst, you’re clearly not preparing yourself for something big and terrible. As such, people worry about being in a positive mood or being too relaxed. People also worry that positive feelings will somehow attract negative ones.
I’m definitely one of those people.
But self-compassion is actually a helpful way to prepare yourself for tough times. Self-compassion, writes Welford, “…builds your ability to cope with hard situations, and it’s through coping with setbacks that self-confidence in our ability to cope increases.”
And, again, remind yourself that you’re simply going to sample self-compassion. “If fear of falling gets in the way of your experiencing positive feelings, it may be helpful just to think, I’ll give it a go. I can always revert to my old ways.

5. Self-sabotaging thought: Self-compassion is too overwhelming.
When you’re so accustomed to bashing yourself, self-compassion may certainly feel different and difficult. And that’s OK.
You can start slow. Welford suggests the following ideas: Start gradually, like you would if you were learning how to swim (you’d start at the shallow end, and then slowly move into deeper waters). Engage in fun, healthy activities and experiences, such as hanging out with close friends. If you think you need extra support, see a therapist.

Cultivating Self-Compassion

Here’s a list of how-to posts on practicing self-compassion:
What stops you from practicing self-compassion? What’s helped you in practicing self-compassion?

Saturday, June 15, 2013

Father's Day for the Doctor !

Many more great posts at  @[197995260283190:274:Words of Wisdom]
  
Click www.Daveswordsofwisdom.com for more beautiful and meaningful quotes and images ♥
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My Pop departed from me in 1996. The day has never escaped my memory. The day was something unexpected for my Pop was Bigger than big in my life. He was the only that provided me with the tools to become the man I am today.

My Pop is now interceding for me before God's Throne every awaking day of my life.

Happy Father's Day - Papa !!!