Tuesday, October 25, 2011

This is not my nature?

Recently, I had a session with a client, who indicated  a woman he loved disappeared, while he took ill with a recent illness. The client was alone and abandoned by the woman he loved with all his heart, mind, and soul. He called her on several occasions during the illness to visit and provide loving care to him.  He was frustrated upon hearing her voice mail message.  The woman never heard  any of my client's calls of outreach.  He ended up calling  a mutual friend that he thought would speak well on his behalf.   That mutual friend  did not speak well for my client and reported to the client's woman that he was being a bother.   The phone call the mutual friend placed did not go over well with the client's woman at all.

When she found out that he called to relay a message over to her. She completely read  the client the riot act.  The client was completely  responsible for the illness, which was contracted from being "burnt out" from working a lot and lack of support. The woman felt she had nothing to do with the client's illness or was responsible for the client health and wellness at all.   She even did not do anything to provide support, care, and most of all affection my client longed for in his life.  All she could say "It Is Not My Nature." In her summation, she told my client never to call her ever again.  That was the poorest excuse ever spoken to a man that was completely drained in this state of  life.

What was my client to do being alone during a burned out segment in life.  My client placed a lot faith in this woman to provide care to him at this moment in history. This woman made life for my client harder, then it should have been.  This was the hardest moment for my client from a 360 viewpoint.  The most frustrating too, the client's employer was calling for him to return to work two weeks earlier from what the medical director orders were placed into writing. .  He was completely under a medical director care not to return to work until the day prescribed.  I am proud of my client standing up for his health and wellness to the employer.

This woman was not  "Virtuous" at all to my client.  This is an example of a statement recently sent  to me.
"A quiet man is a thinking man. A quiet woman is hatching a plan."  My client was completely unfairly treated by this non virtuous woman, who thought she did not have be virtuousness to my client.  

Thursday, October 13, 2011

10 Questions to Ask Yourself

 

Here are 10 questions to ask yourself about various aspects of your grief. Any grieving person might experience these briefly, but if you sense them continuing, it is probably time to talk to someone knowledgeable about grieving…if only to reassure yourself that you are on the right path.

1. Are you always irritable, annoyed, intolerant or angry these days?

2. Do you experience an ongoing sense of numbness or of being isolated from your own self or from others? Do you usually feel that you have no one to talk to about what’s happened?

3. Since your loved one died, are you highly anxious most of the time about your own death or the death of someone you love? Is it beginning to interfere with your relationships, your ability to concentrate or live as you would like to live?

4. Do you feel that you are always and continually preoccupied with your loved one, his or her death or certain aspects of it even though it’s been several months since his or her death?

5. Do you usually feel restless or in “high gear”? Do you feel the need to be constantly busy….beyond what’s normal for you?

6. Are you afraid of becoming close to new people for fear of losing again?

7. Do you find yourself acting in ways that might prove harmful to you overtime: drinking more than you used to; using more prescription or non-prescription drugs; engaging in sexual activity that is unsafe or unwise; driving in an unsafe or reckless manner; or entertaining serious thoughts about suicide?

8. Are you taking on too much responsibility for surviving family members or close friends? Has your concern and compassion turned into obsession and caretaking?

9. Are you experiencing only a few of the reactions or emotions that usually come with grief? Are you unable to express your thoughts or feelings about your loved one and his or her death in words or in actions? Do you remember only certain aspects for your loved one or your relationship together, for example only the good parts as opposed to a more complete and balanced view of him or her?

10. Is there some aspect of what you’re experiencing that makes you wonder about whether you’re normal or going crazy? Do you feel stuck in your grief in some way, unable to move on, even though it’s been quite some time since your loved one’s death?