Seek the Bereavement Counselor

How does a young child recover from the loss of a Father or Mother. In most case a young child does not and then goes into an adult full of abandonment, lack of parenting, Drug and Alcohol uses, and most case become homeless in the end. 

Dr. Nicholas Losito, Ph.D,CTS is there to provide Pre-Anticipatory losses and Prepare the young child from ever becoming lost, forgotten, and prepare them for Success.  

What Every Woman Should Know - Cultural Considerations

Major depression and dysthymia affect twice as many women as men. This two-to-one ratio exists regardless of racial and ethnic background or economic status. The same ratio has been reported in ten other countries all over the world. Men and women have about the same rate of bipolar disorder (manic-depression), though its course in women typically has more depressive and fewer manic episodes. Also, a greater number of women have the rapid cycling form of bipolar disorder, which may be more resistant to standard treatments.
A variety of factors unique to women's lives are suspected to play a role in developing depression. Research is focused on understanding these, including: reproductive, hormonal, genetic or other biological factors; abuse and oppression; interpersonal factors; and certain psychological and personality characteristics. And yet, the specific causes of depression in women remain unclear; many women exposed to these factors do not develop depression. What is clear is that regardless of the contributing factors, depression is a highly treatable illness.

The Many Dimensions of Depression in Women

Investigators are focusing on the following areas in their study of depression in women:

The Issues of Adolescence

Before adolescence, there is little difference in the rate of depression in boys and girls. But between the ages of 11 and 13 there is a precipitous rise in depression rates for girls. By the age of 15, females are twice as likely to have experienced a major depressive episode as males. This comes at a time in adolescence when roles and expectations change dramatically. The stresses of adolescence include forming an identity, emerging sexuality, separating from parents, and making decisions for the first time, along with other physical, intellectual, and hormonal changes. These stresses are generally different for boys and girls, and may be associated more often with depression in females. Studies show that female high school students have significantly higher rates of depression, anxiety disorders, eating disorders, and adjustment disorders than male students, who have higher rates of disruptive behavior disorders.

Adulthood: Relationships and Work Roles

Stress in general can contribute to depression in persons biologically vulnerable to the illness. Some have theorized that higher incidence of depression in women is not due to greater vulnerability, but to the particular stresses that many women face. These stresses include major responsibilities at home and work, single parenthood, and caring for children and aging parents. How these factors may uniquely affect women is not yet fully understood.
For both women and men, rates of major depression are highest among the separated and divorced, and lowest among the married, while remaining always higher for women than for men. The quality of a marriage, however, may contribute significantly to depression. Lack of an intimate, confiding relationship, as well as overt marital disputes, have been shown to be related to depression in women. In fact, rates of depression were shown to be highest among unhappily married women.

Reproductive Events

Women's reproductive events include the menstrual cycle, pregnancy, the postpregnancy period, infertility, menopause, and sometimes, the decision not to have children. These events bring fluctuations in mood that for some women include depression. Researchers have confirmed that hormones have an effect on the brain chemistry that controls emotions and mood; a specific biological mechanism explaining hormonal involvement is not known, however.
Many women experience certain behavioral and physical changes associated with phases of their menstrual cycles. In some women, these changes are severe, occur regularly, and include depressed feelings, irritability, and other emotional and physical changes. Called premenstrual syndrome (PMS) or premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD), the changes typically begin after ovulation and become gradually worse until menstruation starts. Scientists are exploring how the cyclical rise and fall of estrogen and other hormones may affect the brain chemistry that is associated with depressive illness.
Postpartum mood changes can range from transient "baby blues" immediately following childbirth to an episode of major depression to severe, incapacitating, psychotic depression. Studies suggest that women who experience major depression after childbirth very often have had prior depressive episodes even though they may not have been diagnosed and treated.
Pregnancy (if it is desired) seldom contributes to depression, and having an abortion does not appear to lead to a higher incidence of depression. Women with infertility problems may be subject to extreme anxiety or sadness, though it is unclear if this contributes to a higher rate of depressive illness. In addition, motherhood may be a time of heightened risk for depression because of the stress and demands it imposes.
Menopause, in general, is not asssociated with an increased risk of depression. In fact, while once considered a unique disorder, research has shown that depressive illness at menopause is no different than at other ages. The women more vulnerable to change-of-life depression are those with a history of past depressive episodes.

Specific Cultural Considerations

As for depression in general, the prevalence rate of depression in African American and Hispanic women remains about twice that of men. There is some indication, however, that major depression and dysthymia may be diagnosed less frequently in African American and slightly more frequently in Hispanic than in Caucasian women. Prevalence information for other racial and ethnic groups is not definitive.
Possible differences in symptom presentation may affect the way depression is recognized and diagnosed among minorities. For example, African Americans are more likely to report somatic symptoms, such as appetite change and body aches and pains. In addition, people from various cultural backgrounds may view depressive symptoms in different ways. Such factors should be considered when working with women from special populations.

Victimization

Studies show that women molested as children are more likely to have clinical depression at some time in their lives than those with no such history. In addition, several studies show a higher incidence of depression among women who have been raped as adolescents or adults. Since far more women than men were sexually abused as children, these findings are relevant. Women who experience other commonly occurring forms of abuse, such as physical abuse and sexual harassment on the job, also may experience higher rates of depression. Abuse may lead to depression by fostering low self-esteem, a sense of helplessness, self-blame, and social isolation. There may be biological and environmental risk factors for depression resulting from growing up in a dysfunctional family. At present, more research is needed to understand whether victimization is connected specifically to depression.

Poverty

Women and children represent seventy-five percent of the U.S. population considered poor. Low economic status brings with it many stresses, including isolation, uncertainty, frequent negative events, and poor access to helpful resources. Sadness and low morale are more common among persons with low incomes and those lacking social supports. But research has not yet established whether depressive illnesses are more prevalent among those facing environmental stressors such as these.

Depression in Later Adulthood

At one time, it was commonly thought that women were particularly vulnerable to depression when their children left home and they were confronted with "empty nest syndrome" and experienced a profound loss of purpose and identity. However, studies show no increase in depressive illness among women at this stage of life.
As with younger age groups, more elderly women than men suffer from depressive illness. Similarly, for all age groups, being unmarried (which includes widowhood) is also a risk factor for depression. Most important, depression should not be dismissed as a normal consequence of the physical, social, and economic problems of later life. In fact, studies show that most older people feel satisfied with their lives.
About 800,000 persons are widowed each year. Most of them are older, female, and experience varying degrees of depressive symptomatology. Most do not need formal treatment, but those who are moderately or severely sad appear to benefit from self-help groups or various psychosocial treatments. However, a third of widows/widowers do meet criteria for major depressive episode in the first month after the death, and half of these remain clinically depressed 1 year later. These depressions respond to standard antidepressant treatments, although research on when to start treatment or how medications should be combined with psychosocial treatments is still in its early stages.













Even severe depression can be highly responsive to treatment. Indeed, believing one's condition is "incurable" is often part of the hopelessness that accompanies serious depression. Such individuals should be provided with the information about the effectiveness of modern treatments for depression in a way that acknowledges their likely skepticism about whether treatment will work for them. As with many illnesses, the earlier treatment begins, the more effective and the greater the likelihood of preventing serious recurrences. Of course, treatment will not eliminate life's inevitable stresses and ups and downs. But it can greatly enhance the ability to manage such challenges and lead to greater enjoyment of life.
The first step in treatment for depression should be a thorough examination to rule out any physical illnesses that may cause depressive symptoms. Since certain medications can cause the same symptoms as depression, the examining physician should be made aware of any medications being used. If a physical cause for the depression is not found, a psychological evaluation should be conducted by the physician or a referral made to a mental health professional.

Types of Treatment for Depression

The most commonly used treatments for depression are antidepressant medication, psychotherapy, or a combination of the two. Which of these is the right treatment for any one individual depends on the nature and severity of the depression and, to some extent, on individual preference. In mild or moderate depression, one or both of these treatments may be useful, while in severe or incapacitating depression, medication is generally recommended as a first step in the treatment.³ In combined treatment, medication can relieve physical symptoms quickly, while psychotherapy allows the opportunity to learn more effective ways of handling problems.

Antidepressant Medications

There are several types of antidepressant medications used to treat depressive disorders. These include newer medications-chiefly the selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs)-and the tricyclics and monoamine oxidase inhibitors (MAOIs). The SSRIs-and other newer medications that affect neurotransmitters such as dopamine or norepinephrine-generally have fewer side effects than tricyclics. Each acts on different chemical pathways of the human brain related to moods. Antidepressant medications are not habit-forming. Although some individuals notice improvement in the first couple of weeks, usually antidepressant medications must be taken regularly for at least 4 weeks and, in some cases, as many as 8 weeks, before the full therapeutic effect occurs. To be effective and to prevent a relapse of the depression, medications must be taken for about 6 to 12 months, carefully following the doctor's instructions. Medications must be monitored to ensure the most effective dosage and to minimize side effects. For those who have had several bouts of depression, long-term treatment with medication is the most effective means of preventing recurring episodes.
The prescribing doctor will provide information about possible side effects and, in the case of MAOIs, dietary and medication restrictions. In addition, other prescribed and over-the-counter medications or dietary supplements being used should be reviewed because some can interact negatively with antidepressant medication. There may be restrictions during pregnancy.
For bipolar disorder, the treatment of choice for many years has been Lithium, as it can be effective in smoothing out the mood swings common to this disorder. Its use must be carefully monitored, as the range between an effective dose and a toxic one can be relatively small. However, lithium may not be recommended if a person has pre-existing thyroid, kidney, or heart disorders or epilepsy. Fortunately, other medications have been found helpful in controlling mood swings. Among these are two mood-stabilizing anticonvulsants, carbamazepine (Tegretol^®) and valproate (Depakene^®). Both of these medications have gained wide acceptance in clinical practice, and valproate has been approved by the Food and Drug Administration for first-line treatment of acute mania. Studies conducted in Finland in patients with epilepsy indicate that valproate may increase testosterone levels in teenage girls and produce polycystic ovary syndrome in women who began taking the medication before age 20. ¹¹ Therefore, young female patients should be monitored carefully by a physician. Other anticonvulsants that are being used now include lamotrigine (Lamictal^®) and gabapentin (Neurontin^®); their role in the treatment hierarchy of bipolar disorder remains under study.
Most people who have bipolar disorder take more than one medication. Along with lithium and/or an anticonvulsant, they often take a medication for accompanying agitation, anxiety, insomnia, or depression. Some research indicates that an antidepressant, when taken without a mood stabilizing medication, can increase the risk of switching into mania or hypomania, or of developing rapid cycling, in people with bipolar disorder. Finding the best possible combination of these medications is of utmost importance to the patient and requires close monitoring by the physician.

Herbal Therapy

In the past few years, much interest has risen in the use of herbs in the treatment of both depression and anxiety. St. John's wort (Hypericum perforatum), an herb used extensively in the treatment of mild to moderate depression in Europe, has recently aroused interest in the United States. St. John's wort, an attractive bushy, low-growing plant covered with yellow flowers in summer, has been used for centuries in many folk and herbal remedies. Today in Germany, Hypericum is used in the treatment of depression more than any other antidepressant. However, the scientific studies that have been conducted on its use have been short-term and have used several different doses.
To address increasing American interests in St. John's wort, the National Institutes of Health conducted a clinical trial to determine the effectiveness of the herb in treating adults who have major depression. Involving 340 patients diagnosed with major depression, the eight-week trial randomly assigned one-third of them to a uniform dose of St. John's wort, one-third to a commonly prescribed SSRI, and one-third to a placebo. The trial found that St. John's wort was no more effective than the placebo in treating major depression.¹³ Another study is looking at the effectiveness of St. John's wort for treating mild or minor depression.
Other research has shown that St. John's wort can interact unfavorably with other medications, including those used to control HIV infection. On February 10, 2000, the FDA issued a Public Health Advisory letter stating that the herb appears to interfere with certain medications used to treat heart disease, depression, seizures, certain cancers, and organ transplant rejection. The herb also may interfere with the effectiveness of oral contraceptives. Because of these potential interactions, patients should always consult with their doctors before taking any herbal supplement.

Psychotherapy for Depression

Several types of psychotherapy-or "talk therapy"-can help people with depression.
In mild to moderate cases of depression, psychotherapy is also a treatment option. Some short-term (10 to 20 week) therapies have been very effective in several types of depression. "Talking" therapies help patients gain insight into and resolve their problems through verbal give-and-take with the therapist. "Behavioral" therapies help patients learn new behaviors that lead to more satisfaction in life and "unlearn" counter-productive behaviors. Research has shown that two short-term psychotherapies, interpersonal and cognitive-behavioral, are helpful for some forms of depression. Interpersonal therapy works to change interpersonal relationships that cause or exacerbate depression. Cognitive-behavioral therapy helps change negative styles of thinking and behaving that may contribute to the depression.

Electroconvulsive Therapy

For individuals whose depression is severe or life threatening or for those who cannot take antidepressant medication, electroconvulsive therapy (ECT) is useful.³ This is particularly true for those with extreme suicide risk, severe agitation, psychotic thinking, severe weight loss or physical debilitation as a result of physical illness. Over the years, ECT has been much improved. A muscle relaxant is given before treatment, which is done under brief anesthesia. Electrodes are placed at precise locations on the head to deliver electrical impulses. The stimulation causes a brief (about 30 seconds) seizure within the brain. The person receiving ECT does not consciously experience the electrical stimulus. At least several sessions of ECT, usually given at the rate of three per week, are required for full therapeutic benefit.

Treating Recurrent Depression

Even when treatment is successful, depression may recur. Studies indicate that certain treatment strategies are very useful in this instance. Continuation of antidepressant medication at the same dose that successfully treated the acute episode can often prevent recurrence. Monthly interpersonal psychotherapy can lengthen the time between episodes in patients not taking medication.

The Path to Healing

Reaping the benefits of treatment begins by recognizing the signs of depression. The next step is to be evaluated by a qualified professional. Although depression can be diagnosed and treated by primary care physicians, often the physician will refer the patient to a psychiatrist, psychologist, clinical social worker, or other mental health professional. Treatment is a partnership between the patient and the health care provider. An informed consumer knows her treatment options and discusses concerns with her provider as they arise.
If there are no positive results after 2 to 3 months of treatment, or if symptoms worsen, discuss another treatment approach with the provider. Getting a second opinion from another health or mental health professional may also be in order.
Here, again, are the steps to healing:

• Check your symptoms against this list.
• Talk to a health or mental health professional.
• Choose a treatment professional and a treatment approach with which you feel comfortable.
• Consider yourself a partner in treatment and be an informed consumer.
• If you are not comfortable or satisfied after 2 to 3 months, discuss this with your provider. Different or additional treatment may be recommended.
• If you experience a recurrence, remember what you know about coping with depression and don't shy away from seeking help again. In fact, the sooner a recurrence is treated, the shorter its duration will be.

Depressive illnesses make you feel exhausted, worthless, helpless, and hopeless. Such feelings make some people want to give up. It is important to realize that these negative feelings are part of the depression and will fade as treatment begins to take effect.

Self-Help for Treatment of Depression

Along with professional treatment, there are other things you can do to help yourself get better. If you have depression, it may be extremely difficult to take any action to help yourself. But it is important to realize that feelings of helplessness and hopelessness are part of the depression and do not accurately reflect actual circumstances. As you begin to recognize your depression and begin treatment, negative thinking will fade.
To help yourself:

• Engage in mild activity or exercise. Go to a movie, a ballgame, or another event or activity that you once enjoyed. Participate in religious, social or other activities.
• Set realistic goals for yourself.
• Break up large tasks into small ones, set some priorities and do what you can as you can.
• Try to spend time with other people and confide in a trusted friend or relative. Try not to isolate yourself, and let others help you.
• Expect your mood to improve gradually, not immediately. Do not expect to suddenly "snap out of" your depression. Often during treatment for depression, sleep and appetite will begin to improve before your depressed mood lifts.
• Postpone important decisions, such as getting married or divorced or changing jobs, until you feel better. Discuss decisions with others who know you well and have a more objective view of your situation.
• Remember that positive thinking will replace negative thoughts as your depression responds to treatment.

 

Never Forgotten !

 

In this Age where no one Is remembered for the examples, which were given to each of us in  assistance and care, love and nurturing. It is Time to Bring this Custom back to the front of our memories to be thankful for the growth and development that was provided into our lives. 

I am ever so grateful to those that gave a portion of their time to my growth and development over the years. 

I do continue to remember those who brought the extra care and understanding in my growth and development.  

Renew Your Strength !

A Gateway To Meaningful Connections ( Another Form of Bereavement)

After 50, adult children have likely moved away, and friends, neighbors, family members and colleagues retire, move, fall ill, or, through death or entropy, drop out of our lives. The troubling fact is that communities start to wane just when we need them the most.

And then there’s the big game changer: the change in marital status. It’s not just widowhood that speeds up the erosion of social networks.  Divorce rates among seniors are at an all-time high, and many people find that in the aftermath, joining a new community helps them build a new life that may be many times happier than the old one.

That was the experience of Julie Cotton, 65, of Sarasota, Florida.  “I’d been married my whole adult life,” she said.  “Now I’m divorced and on my own.  Many of the people I thought I could rely on disappeared.  So I’m actively building new communities around writing, lifelong learning, and volunteering, even a new professional career.” A bonus: “Some new, close friendships are beginning to emerge, too.”

Another major game changer is moving. Donnabelle Acree, an 89-year-old widow, also from Sarasota, found this out when she recently switched from an independent living facility to an assisted living facility run by a different organization.  “It’s as if I  moved to another city,” she said.  Except for the odd phone call or visit from the few friends who still have a car and can drive, Donnabelle left her previous residential and church communities behind, resulting in a big gap in her life.  Joining new communities isn’t easy, she admits, “but it’s what it takes if I don’t want to be isolated.”

Obviously, one of the most important components of a satisfying later life is community.

Community can take many forms.  It can be a workplace, a close-knit neighborhood, a house of worship, a social club or affinity group, a committee, or simply a clutch of friends who play cards together once a week.  For many people, especially the ones who don’t live near relatives—or if they don’t have any relatives at all—these communities can take the place of extended families. Communities are a source of connection and care, activities and amusement. They also provide meaning, activities, structure and support.

So how do you get the most from your communities?

Pre-Anticipatory Grief

The death of someone close to us is the most severe stressor imaginable. Bereavement brings a high risk of mental and physical health problems for a long time afterward.

Grieving is a completely natural process, but it can be profoundly painful and distressing.
Occasionally we are aware in advance that someone is reaching the end of his or her life, and in this case the experience of grieving partly begins before their death occurs.

To a certain extent it is impossible to be prepared for the loss of a loved one. It is a time of overwhelming emotions. Despite these feelings, however, it may be possible to plan ahead for this difficult time, particularly to ease any practical issues surrounding the eventual death. This can help reduce the complications in the first hours and days of bereavement, and also later as you struggle to carry on. Taking action in advance can be comforting because you are able just to cope with the circumstances without the added pressure to “get yourself together” and sort things out.

• Build a network of caring people. Family friends, neighbors, colleagues and strangers in a self-help group who have “been there” can give support. Let the people close to you know what you’re going through and warn them that you may soon need more support that usual, or not to be offended if you don’t contact them for a while.
  Knowing when to ask for help is important and so is being allowed to be alone with your thoughts. One of the keys to coping is to consider bereavement as a normal natural part of life which can be a topic of conversation without fear or discomfort.
• Look after yourself physically. Try to eat well and get plenty of rest. It is very easy to overlook your physical needs when you are busy dealing with everything that has to be done surrounding a death or struggling with grief.You may have difficulty getting to sleep, and your sleep may be disturbed by vivid dreams and long periods of wakefulness. You may also lose your appetite, feel tense and short of breath, or drained and lethargic. Don’t try to do too much.
• If possible, speak to your boss about having time off work or at least delegating some of your workload to a colleague. Gather information on the financial and legal aspects of bereavement in advance, so you feel less overwhelmed.
• Prepare children by explaining the situation and how they are likely to feel at the time of the death and afterward. Warn them if any practical arrangements are going to change. Think about whether to find a specially-trained counselor to help them, and keep their school informed.

Emotionally, you will be getting used to the idea of the loss, but this may happen gradually, in fits and starts. It is often not as simple as it sounds, especially if you have known the person for a long time. You may switch between talking rationally about the situation, then have a sudden surge of hope that the person will recover.

Talking about the future loss may help you get used to the reality of the death and work through some of the pain. Remember it isn’t morbid to talk about death, and it’s sensible to be prepared for it as far as possible. At times, you may be the person who can support others also affected by the loss. As you do this you will probably, slowly, find a way of imagining life after the loss, with the person in your thoughts and memories.

Depression is a natural part of grief, and usually lifts of its own accord. But if it doesn't, you may begin to worry that you are becoming clinically depressed. This can be treated and there are different ways of getting through it, which you could discuss with your medical doctor.

Best Friends to Care

Listen to the Voice of God

To make me what He wants me to be


He is able more than able



To accomplish what concerns me today


He is able more than able


To handle anything that comes my way


He is able more than able


To do much more than I could ever dream


He is able more than able

Remember Josefina !

Today Is Mother's Day a day this bereavement specialist can summarize a portion of Life, where I learned from a Devout Woman that provided direction in how I would proceed with future clients. Her was Josefina. She continued to empathize to me " Understand your clients, when you completing understand your clients they will completely place their trust and confidence in your treatments and directions of providing a cures in their hurt and sorrowful lives." 

This is reason my career has been transformed by a Godly woman Josefina that seen a diamond in the rough.  I was greatly sadden when I heard she had taken ill and succumb. I pray that she will intercede for me, my career, and provide a miracle in my life that will place her into line toward Sainthood in the Roman Church. 

Happy Mother's Day Josefina and please continue to intercede for me !

Pleasant Words

Please Protect Our Loved Ones.

Yes Guardian Angels, please protect GP, and loved ones from all harm today and until the final analyst of life.
 

Abandoment in a Life of Veteran

In 9 days another Sacramento Veteran with professional experiences will be without a place to reside due to unemployed and has been abandoned. Hand of Passion is requesting your caring and concerned assistance during the Holy Days to assist this professional Vet with a warm place to stay i.e loft, barn, basement that is currently unused or abandon. Please contact Hand of Passion Clinical Director for further details. 

Post Relatonship Emotions

There are times in our lives when we may question everything, even ourselves. There are no guarantees about anything in life and all we can do is do our best. Beyond doing our best, everything else is not in our control. Sometimes when things turn bad for us it wears us down and makes us question ourselves and others. That is the very time you must take care of yourself, stay strong, eat healthy because staying healthy helps us mentally, emotionally, and, of course, physically. Sometimes we wonder things like, "How can a significant other ever return into a relationship?", how will I ever get through college, how will I ever have a relationship again is I've lost my true love, etc. We wonder what others will do and what we will do. All I can say is stay strong, do your best, stay healthy, and things will work out. If a relationship is meant to be, it will be. If the love is there a relationship will begin or continue. Love conquers. Love still stands when all else has fallen.

Take Your Eyes Off Yourself!!!!

What I have noticed from speaking to young couples in one way or another there is a one out the two who have taken their eyes off themselves to palace their eyes on the other. Then for another reason the other continues to keep their eyes on themselves. That is truly a sign there will be a hidden agenda is brewing, which mean the person who is will totally for the other will become a victim in the relationship.
Each time I continue to meet with a person in every session “Take your eyes off yourself to become a more effective member of your relationship” I am happy when those take my advice to become a Servant of servant to your mate. Although, it saddens me to hear how the person who has taken his/her eyes off have been hurt by the actions, which has cause mille of hurts.

I continue to emphasize take your eyes off yourselves to develop a stronger relationship to last until both of you come to the final analysis of life.