Saturday, May 25, 2013

Comfort Yourself

1. Stretch your body.

Anxiety tends to hijack the body. While everyone stores anxiety in different spots, common areas are the jaw, hips and shoulders, according to Anna Guest - Jelley, a body empowerment educator, yoga teacher and founder of Curvy Yoga. She suggested standing up and doing a full-body stretch. “Reach your arms overhead then slowly fold forward [and] slowly open and close your mouth as you do.”
2.Take a shower.

Taking a shower after a rough day always makes Darlene Mininni, Ph.D, MPH, author of The Emotional Toolkit, feel better. And she’s certainly not alone. Now research is illuminating why cleansing may wash away our woes.
Mininni cited this interesting review, which notes “a growing body of research suggests…after people cleanse themselves, they feel less guilty about their past moral transgressions, less conflicted about recent decisions, and are less influenced by recent streaks of good or bad luck.”
3. Visualize a peaceful image.
 

The image you pick can be anything from the sun to ocean waves to a furry friend, Guest-Jelley said. She suggested combining the visualization with breath, and repeating the sequence several times. As you inhale and reach your arms out in front of you, hold the image in your mind, she said. Then exhale and bring both hands to your heart, all the while thinking of the image, she said.
 

4. Speak compassionately to yourself.

Being self-compassionate boosts mental health, Mininni said. (Some research even suggests that it helps you reach your goals.) This means extending yourself some kindness as you would to a good friend, she said.
Unfortunately, being self-compassionate doesn’t come naturally to many of us. Fortunately, you can learn to treat yourself with consideration and care. Here are some ideas on being kinder to yourself and cultivating self-compassion.
 

5. Reach out.

Reach out to people you trust to support you. “We are wired to connect with others and to comfort each other through emotional and physical connection,” said Julie Hanks, LCSW, a therapist and blogger at Psych Central.
 

6. Ground yourself.

When stress strikes, some people feel lightheaded or like they’re floating outside their bodies, Guest-Jelley said. Making a point to feel your feet against the ground can help, she said. “Grounding your feet can bring you back into your body and help you navigate what you want to do next,” she said. “Visualize thick roots growing down from your feet into the center of the Earth, rooting you and giving you a firm foundation.”
7. Listen to soothing music.
“Create a playlist of soothing songs that help you to slow down or connect with memories or positive experiences,” Hanks said. We’ve mentioned before the benefits of listening to calming music. Pairing soothing tunes with deep breathing helps, too, according to one study, which found it lowered blood pressure.
 

8. Practice mindfulness.

To practice mindfulness, “You don’t need to sit like a pretzel,” Mininni said. Simply focus on what you’re doing right now, whether that’s washing the dishes, walking to your car or sitting at your desk, she said. Pay attention to the sights, scents and sounds surrounding you, she said.
 

For instance, if you’re washing the dishes, focus on the scent of the soap and the hot water cascading from the faucet and onto your hands, she said.
Mininni applies mindfulness to her feelings. In the moment, she asks herself what her emotion feels like. Doing this actually allows her to detach from her feelings and thoughts and simply observe them as if she were watching a movie. This helps you get out of your head and into your body, she said.
 

9. Move your body.

According to Hanks, “If you’re feeling tempted to engage in self-destructive behavior to calm down, engage in something positive and active, like exercise or playing a physical game.”
10. Picture the positive.
 

When we’re anticipating a potentially stressful situation, we start thinking of all the different ways it can go wrong. Again, you can use visualization to your advantage. “To pull yourself out of [an] internal dramalogue, try imagining the situation going well,” Guest-Jelley said. “Feel what you want to feel in the moment and see yourself disengaging from tricky conversations [and] situations,” she said.
 

11. Zoom out.

Look at the situation or stressor from a bigger perspective, Hanks said. “When you’re in the moment, current challenges seem enormous, but placing your situation into the ‘bigger picture’ of your life may help you realize that you may not need to give it so much emotional energy,” she said.
For instance, she suggested asking yourself: “Will this matter in one year? In fie years? When I reach the end of my life, how important will this situation be in retrospect?”


12. Practice alternate nostril breathing.

Breathing techniques are an instant way to soothe your body. Taking deep, slow breaths tells your brain that everything is OK, which then calms the rest of the body. Guest-Jelley suggested going through this series:

Using your dominant hand, “make a U-shape with your thumb and pointer finger.
If you’re using your right hand, press your right thumb into your right nostril, gently closing it. Inhale through your left nostril.
Next, press your right index finger against your left nostril, closing it, as you release your thumb from the right nostril – allowing yourself to exhale through the right nostril.
Repeat by inhaling through the right nostril, then closing it and exhaling through the left nostril.

Continue like this for at least 10 full breaths.”
13. Let yourself feel bad.

Remember that you don’t have to fix your feelings right away. It’s important to have a toolbox of healthy strategies to turn to at any time. But don’t feel guilty for feeling bad or fault yourself if you aren’t seeing rainbows and unicorns.
Mininni stressed the importance of giving yourself permission to acknowledge and honor your feelings and stay with them. “Sometimes it’s OK to just say I’m having a really crappy day,” she said

Friday, May 24, 2013

Trust MORE

" MY Heart Will Trust in You " by Hillsong -> http://www.onlinechristiansongs.com/2012/11/my-heart-will-trust-hillsong-lyrics.html

I'll walk closer now on the higher way
Through the darkest night will you hold my hand
Jesus guide my way

O you mourn with me and you dance with me
For my heart of hearts is bound to you

Though I walk through valleys low
I'll fear no evil
By the waters still my soul,
My heart will trust in You [x2]

O You counsel me and You comfort me
When I cannot see,
You light my path

My heart will trust in you

We as a human race  NEED to Trust More In God the Father. When we don’t comply to His Will we will not have a favorable final analysis in life or life everlasting. Increase our Faith, Trust, and Belief to see beyond !

The One's We Love

Share the Love and Memories ---->> ♥ In Loving Memory ♥ 

Click www.Daveswordsofwisdom.com for more beautiful and meaningful quotes and images ♥
.

Memorial Day Daily Remembrances





It is our duty as the living to remember our Loved Ones, Naval Personnel and Soldiers, and Holy Ones that have left an impression into our lives. The day of Memory is slated for one day in the year, but the Memory must be remembered each day of our waking lives. When the Memory is kept alive our beloved will provide intercessory dialogues and prayers with Christ our God.

A Very Important note is to remember our loved ones that are experiencing a chaos, crisis, and a tough road to travel more often now, than ever !

Memory to each person you meet in your daily travels will provide a better entrance into the narrow door of life.





 

Understanding How the Mind Works


 
What Is an Aberration?
 
One of the most useful things you can learn about is how your own mind works. Without this knowledge, you cannot understand yourself, you do not know why you do the things you do, and you have a hard time correcting yourself. When you know how your own mind works, you can get rid of negative thinking and learn to harness your own mind's infinite potentials.
 
In this week's Understanding How the Mind Works newsletter, you'll learn about “aberration.”
 
Definition
 
ABERRATION: Any deviation or departure from rationality
 
Here is an example: Mary wants to have a happy marriage. She loves her husband a lot, but she could not stop herself from getting angry at him every other day. She knows she would rather resolve differences with him by communication instead of arguments, but she could not control her own temper. This is an example of Mary's aberration.  Something in Mary's mind is out her own control, causing her to react with anger with her husband.  This is a a "deviation or departure from rationality," Therefore it is aberration.

Here is another example of an aberration; Jeff wants to be a very successful entrepreneur. Ever since he was little he wanted to start his own business to develop a lot of money.  However, every time he started to focus, his business distractions developed. Something in his life provided a cause to lose focus and goals of becoming successful.

Jeff has an aberration with his consistency and persistence from escaping from rational conduct.

In order to be happy and successful in life, we must learn to overcome our own aberrations. If you can identify and resolve your own aberrations, your whole life will change.
 
What aberrations have you seen in people around you? Do you know someone who is always angry? Do you know someone who feels insecure for no reason? Do you know someone who is always tense and cannot relax?
 
What are some of your aberrations? What do you do which is irrational? Do you have a fear of crowds? Do you suffer from anxiety or depression? Do you have a hard time expressing your feelings? Do you procrastinate?
 
Accurate self assessment is vital. Once you identified your own aberrations, you are in a better position to improve yourself and your life.
 
I hope this bit of information about the mind helps.

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Listen to the Voice of God





To make me what He wants me to be


He is able more than able



To accomplish what concerns me today


He is able more than able


To handle anything that comes my way


He is able more than able


To do much more than I could ever dream


He is able more than able




Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Just Go Slowly !!!!

45 Points

Written by a 90 year old

This is something we should all read at least once a week!!!!! Make
sure you read to the end!!!!!!

Written by Regina Brett, 90 years old, of the Plain Dealer,
Cleveland , Ohio .

"To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught
me. It is the most requested column I've ever written.

My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once
more:

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends
and parents will. Stay in touch.

5. Pay off your credit cards every month.

6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.

8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.

12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their
journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry;
God never blinks.

16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.

18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.

19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one
is up to you and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no
for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie.
Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.

24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years,
will this matter?'

27. Always choose life.

28. Forgive everyone everything.

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you
did or didn't do.

35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.

37. Your children get only one childhood.

38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's,
we'd grab ours back.

41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

42. The best is yet to come...

43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

44. Yield.

45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift."

Its estimated 93% won't forward this. If you are one of the 7% who
will,
forward this with the title '7%'.

I'm in the 7%. Friends are the family that we choose

Treat YourSelf Right !

Sunday, May 12, 2013

Remember Josefina !






Today Is Mother's Day a day this bereavement specialist can summarize a portion of Life, where I learned from a Devout Woman that provided direction in how I would proceed with future clients. Her was Josefina. She continued to empathize to me " Understand your clients, when you completing understand your clients they will completely place their trust and confidence in your treatments and directions of providing a cures in their hurt and sorrowful lives." 



This is reason my career has been transformed by a Godly woman Josefina that seen a diamond in the rough.  I was greatly sadden when I heard she had taken ill and succumb. I pray that she will intercede for me, my career, and provide a miracle in my life that will place her into line toward Sainthood in the Roman Church. 

Happy Mother's Day Josefina and please continue to intercede for me !


Candle of Love

Saturday, May 11, 2013

Fallen by the wayside.



Provide Support to the Bereaved that have fallen by the wayside.

Caution and Maturity

Prayer from San Francesco

Holy Ghost Production



Allow the Holy Ghost to provide everything you are accomplishing in life. The Holy Ghost, by the Power of God the Father, will provide for you during your breavement and all your tribulation one has undergoing and has undergone. Surround yourselves in good environments that can provide for you care, concern, and love of the Holy Ghost provides to everyone, who depends on Holy Decent each one of your lives. 

Lasciare che lo Spirito Santo per fornire tutto ciò che si sta realizzando nella vita. Lo Spirito Santo, con la potenza di Dio Padre, fornirà per voi durante il vostro breavement e tutta la tua tribolazione uno ha sottoposto e ha subito. Surround voi stessi in buone ambienti che possono fornire per voi cura, preoccupazione, e l'amore dello Spirito Santo offre a tutti, che dipende dalla Santa dignitoso ognuna delle vostre vite.


Going Forward

Pleasant Words

Two Types


En la vida seguimos a encontrar dos tipos de elments, uno bueno y uno malo. Continuar aplicando el 360 conocimiento para evaluar estos dos elementos. Si usted no está en contacto con el Dr. Losito al 877 867 8556 para ser dado clearity para distinguir una de la otra.

Nella vita continuiamo a incontrare due tipi di elments, uno buono e uno cattivo. Continuare ad attuare il vostro 360 consapevolezza per valutare questi due elementi. Se non si è contattare il Dr. Losito al 877 867 8556 da dare clearity nel distinguere l'uno dall'altro.

In life we continue to encounter two kinds of elments, one good and one bad. Continue to implement your 360 awareness to assess these two elements. If, you are not contact Dr. Losito at 877 867 8556 to be given clearity in distinguishing one from the other.

Matthew 7:8

Endure the Strom

MOTHER'S DAY

Thursday, May 9, 2013

Grief Counseling

Last week, the Association for Death Education and Counseling (ADEC) held its 30th Annual Conference in Montreal, Canada. There were several important presentations, some of which I will be writing about later. However, today I want to concentrate on one session that is relevant to a topic that has been in the popular press and on the television show Boston Legal: Is “grief counseling” helpful or harmful to the bereaved?

After years of research, there is little reason to doubt that psychotherapy is an effective way to help most people who are experiencing distress. Both professional journals and the mass media have reported that despite the theoretical approach of the clinician or who is receiving the therapy - individuals, family, or groups - clients are in significantly better shape after therapy than those who do not take advantage of it.

For the subset of psychotherapy known as grief or bereavement counseling, however, the effectiveness of therapy is not as well established. There are three reasons for this lack of clarity:



  1. Contrary to other therapeutic areas which aim to treat and assuage preexisting, specific disorders and problems with living, bereavement counseling is most often practiced as a preventive treatment. Its goal is to diminish a client’s probability of suffering future psychological or physical problems. Unlike non-bereavement therapy, there are no easy means to examine the impact of treatment on a pre- and post-treatment basis.
  2. Most bereaved people have a tendency to improve in their adaptation to the loss without any professional assistance. Only 10-15% of those whose loved one has died experience suffering and grief so intense and for so long that they develop psychological and physical debilitation, sometimes to the point of being fatal.
  3. Many studies have failed to distinguish between the three broad categories of bereavement interventions as delineated by the Institute of Medicine (IOM): universal, selective, and indicated.
  • Universal interventions are those that focus on anyone who is bereaved without considering individual death-related risk factors or preexisting functioning.
  • Selective interventions are oriented to those whose loss has the potential for causing high distress such as those whose child died violently, suicide survivors, etc.
  • The third category, indicated interventions, addresses those who present significant problems adapting to the death. These problems could include normally recognized psychological symptoms such as depression or other clinically important complications such as guilt, loss-related intrusions,  rage, etc. It is also important to note that the complicated grief these mourners suffer will not diminish just because of the passage of time nor can it be simply reduced to common psychological disorders such as depression and PTSD.

Because of these variables, the reports of how helpful counseling is for the bereaved have ranged from favorable to neutral to harmful.

At the ADEC conference, Joseph Currier and Robert Neimeyer presented the findings of their analysis of the existing research and tried to make some sense out of the disparate results. They, along with Jeffrey Berman, conducted a comprehensive meta-analysis of 61 published, controlled research studies on the efficacy of bereavement counseling. Besides examining how effective counseling can be, the researchers also attempted to determine if timing for starting therapy; the method of recruitment; the mode of death; or the bereaved person’s sex, age, or relationship to the deceased had any bearing on the results.

Without going into the details of the study, let me summarize what they found. Their analysis showed that general bereavement counseling has a slightly helpful effect that continues for only a short time after the intervention ends. These findings are similar to those for generically applied trauma interventions. However, when Currier, Neimeyer, and Berman delved more deeply into the data, they made some interesting discoveries.
  • Interventions that addressed the universal population did not produce any statistically better results than those that occur from the mere passage of time. Most people have the personal resiliency and available societal and familial support systems to help them adapt to the loss, whether they receive counseling or not.
  • For those who qualify for selective interventions, counseling did provide more benefit, but it was short-lived and not statistically significant later.
  • However, if the proper steps were undertaken to assess if the client was having specific problems in adapting to the loss and if any of these problems were subsequently addressed, i.e., indicated interventions, the effects of the counseling were the same as in other areas of psychotherapy.

It is also noteworthy that Currier, Neimeyer, and Berman found that except for the method of recruitment, no relationship existed between the other possible factors (the sex or age of the bereaved, timing of therapy, etc.) and successful therapy. The only effect that the method of recruitment had was with clients who were either self and/or clinically referred. Referred clients experienced better outcomes than those who entered therapy as the result of aggressive outreach programs.

So, the answer to the question “Is ‘grief counseling’ helpful or harmful to the bereaved?” is “It depends.” As Neimeyer said at the conference, counseling helps, unless it doesn't  In other words, for those bereaved individuals needing indicated interventions, the higher the level of bereavement-related distress, the greater the benefit they will receive from bereavement therapy.

Mother's Day !

Friday, May 3, 2013

Talk Better To Yourself !


We tend inflict so much suffering upon ourselves through negative self talk. It’s really amazing when you think about it. So much suffering due to words running through our minds…
In this post I’d like to share my top 10 self-damaging things we tend to say to ourselves. I have my own experience with negative self talk, believe me!
One tool for overcoming negative self-talk is to call it what it is. I’ll say more about that in a minute. Here is my list of the top ten things to avoid saying to yourself.

1. I’m not worth it.

This is a direct assault on your self-esteem and it is simply not true! Telling yourself you are not “worth it” only perpetuates negative beliefs you may have picked up early in life.

2. There’s no use.

Telling yourself there is no use steals your personal power and leaves you with no motivation.

3. I can’t do it.

Again, very disempowering. There are times when you truly cannot do something, however, most of the time this one is delivered as more of a self-attack than a statement of fact.

4. I’ll never follow through.

This is a set up for failure before you really get started. We all know that success comes one day at a time. Telling yourself you will fail before you get started is shooting yourself in the foot.

5. People won’t like me.

A set up for rejection. When you enter a new situation telling yourself that people won’t like you, it can become a self-fulfilling prophecy!

6. Others are better than I am.

We all tend to compare ourselves to others. Sometimes we exercise prejudice against ourselves, though. Telling yourself that others are better than you is an assault on your self-worth.

7. I am not enough.

A huge one for people who feel inadequate to meet the demands of life. A sense of personal inadequacy is very discouraging – don’t reinforce it!

8. I must be perfect.

The way to guarantee failure is to criticize yourself whenever you are imperfect, which is all the time. We are perfectly imperfect!

9. My opinion doesn't matter.

More low self-esteem in this statement. To say this one to yourself, you must consider yourself unworthy.

10. I’ll never be any different.

We say this as if we are written failure into stone. It’s a hopeless thought. Just say no to this one!

What To Do About Negative Self-Talk

Follow these steps to get a better handle on your negative self-talk:
1. Catch yourself. So often we run on autopilot and allow our minds to ruin our day. So, start each day with the conscious goal to catch yourself saying negative things.
2. Call a spade a spade. Next, label what you just said! Recognize it as negative self talk.
3. Use the following formula: “I just had the thought…” (repeat the negative thought here).
If you caught yourself saying, “I am not worth it,” for example, then you would pause and say, “I just had the thought, ‘I am not worth it.’”
Using this formula securely labels the thought as a mere thought. If you do not realize that what you said was just a thought, you run a higher risk of taking it personally and allowing it to ruin your day.
4. Take a deep breath and move on!

You ARE Never Alone !