Balance with Hugs

1. The nurturing touch of a hug builds trust and a sense of safety. This helps with open and honest communication.

2. Hugs can instantly boost oxytocin levels, which heal feelings of loneliness, isolation, and anger.

3. Holding a hug for an extended time lifts one's serotonin levels, elevating mood and creating happiness.

4. Hugs strengthen the immune system. The gentle pressure on the sternum and the emotional charge this creates activates the Solar Plexus Chakra. This stimulates the thymus gland, which regulates and balances the body's production of white blood cells, which keep you healthy and disease free.

5. Hugging boosts self-esteem. From the time we're born our family's touch shows us that we're loved and special. The associations of self-worth and tactile sensations from our early years are still imbedded in our nervous system as adults. The cuddles we received from our Mom and Dad while growing up remain imprinted at a cellular level, and hugs remind us at a somatic level of that. Hugs, therefore, connect us to our ability to self love.

6. Hugging relaxes muscles. Hugs release tension in the body. Hugs can take away pain; they soothe aches by increasing circulation into the soft tissues.

7. Hugs balance out the nervous system. The galvanic skin response of someone receiving and giving a hug shows a change in skin conductance. The effect in moisture and electricity in the skin suggests a more balanced state in the nervous system - parasympathetic.

8. Hugs teach us how to give and receive. There is equal value in receiving and being receptive to warmth, as to giving and sharing. Hugs educate us how love flows both ways.

9. Hugs are so much like meditation and laughter. They teach us to let go and be present in the moment. They encourage us to flow with the energy of life. Hugs get you out of your circular thinking patterns and connect you with your heart and your feelings and your breath.

10. The energy exchange between the people hugging is an investment in the relationship. It encourages empathy and understanding. And, it's synergistic, which means the whole is more than the sum of its parts: 1 1 = 3 or more! This synergy is more likely to result in win-win outcomes.

Pleasant Words

Provide Care and Support

Grieving Thoughts and Behaviors

Thoughts during grief can vary from “there’s nothing I can do about it” or “it’s my fault, I could have done more” to “he had a good life” or “it wasn’t her time.” They can be troubling or soothing, and people in grief can bounce between different thoughts as they make sense of their loss.  Grieving behaviors run from crying to laughter, sharing feelings to engaging silently in activities like cleaning, fixing, or exercising.  They can involve being with others or by oneself.

The different feelings, thoughts, and behaviors people express during grief can be categorized into two main styles: instrumental and intuitive.

• Instrumental grieving involves doing more physical things such as a hobby, playing, dancing, and working out.
• Intuitive behaviors include sharing feelings, exploring the lost relationship, and considering mortality and meaning in life.

How Long Does it Take to Grieve?

It is helpful to know that grief is natural and time limited.  It can continue anywhere from two weeks to almost two years, and is usually different for each relationship or event.   It is also quite normal to be able to experience joy, contentment, and humor even amidst the worst loss.  Factors contributing to soothing grief include strong social support, optimism, and physical exercise.  Most people recover from grief and can continue with their usual activities, while still feeling moments of sadness, within six months.  Some people feel better after about a year to a year and a half. For others, their grief may be longer lasting, continuing for years without seeming to improve or with any break, and this may be due to factors before the loss such as pre-existing depression or high dependency on the departed.

Everyone grieves in their own way and in their own time.  Some people are more emotional and dive into their feelings while others are stoic and may seek distraction from dwelling on an unchangeable fact of living.   Neither is better than the other, but if at any point one is concerned about whether one’s grief-related feelings, thoughts, and behaviors are “normal” and “healthy,” a consultation with a qualified mental health professional may be advised.

Through Times of Trial

Through Times of Trial
GENESIS 50:18-21

If anyone had ample opportunity to become embittered by life's trials, it was Joseph. His brothers treated him with contempt even before they tossed him into a pit. Then, over the course of a few years, he was sold into slavery, transported to a foreign land, framed for a crime, and left to waste away in prison. Despite all the injustice he suffered, this boy who grew up in bondage became a man of diligent work ethic and gentle spirit.
It's almost impossible to understand how Joseph could seem so forgiving, peaceful, and even joyful. His secret to maintaining grace under pressure was a constant focus on God. He must have spent many hours recalling Jacob's stories about the Lord's faithfulness to their family--and also the divine revelations about his own future as a leader (Gen. 37:8-9). In spite of his many afflictions, Joseph trusted that those God-given dreams would become reality.
Imagine what kind of man could have emerged from 13 years of suffering and injustice. Had Joseph dwelled on his unfair circumstances, he'd likely have become cynical and vengeful. With a mind full of escape plots and revenge tactics, a man cannot be a good worker--so instead of achieving greatness, Joseph would probably have toiled at unfulfilling menial tasks.
With his spiritual "eyes" trained on God's glory, Joseph persevered through great trials. In the end, he certainly had the power to punish his brothers for their treachery, but he chose to forgive. That decision probably wasn't an easy one. Yet because Joseph placed himself under God's protection, his heart was unhindered by negative emotions.
Through Times of Trial - Perseverance

Bereavement Counseling Groups