Reel In a Veteran From the Cold

Grief and Loss just steam from death of a family member. We can also experience they way we are treated from employment, living conditions, and how we are perceived from society.

I have provided assistance such a person from rude and crude ways from employer that pushed a much hidden agenda they had other employee providing observations to the senior staff regarding work and other non work related experience. From the very start the patient continuously suffered more from being thrown into a VASH project based housing in another city from where my patient resided.  VA did not provide safe, secure, and warm living conditions after the present administration took everything away from my patient.  While, VA continues” Not” think of the Veteran “Feelings and Thoughts” at all.

Since, the debacle occurred health has taken a toll on the patient with a few long term stays in the Medical Center.  I was the only one that made a visit to ensure proper treatments, care, and provided uplifting improved Self –Esteem.

We are requesting legal assistance  to enroll into the 501 3 (C) program to garner improved Financial Assistance for the Veteran "Hand Up." back into Society the Shadow Administration  imposed upon a Veteran.

We Implore you kind and generous care to provide items and services, which will slingshot my patient back into employment, Improved Living Conditions, along with a vehicle, which will provide transportation for employment with a quick evacuation,when employment is securely secured.    

We have set up an Bereavement Appeal at https://igg.me/at/aEJufQ5xizc  

Items which are currently requested for the Patient Birthday and Re-Entry Appeal

·         Dental and Vision Exams

·         Cardiologist Specialist

·         Retired Flag Officer act as  a Mentor

·         Employment

·         Improved Living Conditions in a Small Patriotic Town

·         Advanced Education

·         2008 Chevrolet Yukon  with trailer hitch

·         Long bed trailer

·         Heart Healthy Foods

·         10 W boots and shoots

·         Business Attire

·         Chevron Fuel Card

·          Laundry and dry cleaning services

·          Full Coverage  Auto Insurance for 1 year

On behalf of the Patient / Veteran, We Are Very Grateful For Your Support and Care. 

How to Managed Anxiety After a Loss

Worry and anxiety can develop after a major loss. Anxiety is a general feeling of tenseness or uneasiness. You may feel generally anxious (called free-floating anxiety). Anxiety can cause physical symptoms, such as an upset stomach or a headache. Anxiety can also cause you to act in ways that are unusual for you, such as being more demanding, less patient, or more irritable.
Worries and anxiety can sometimes seem to take over your life, making you feel like everything is falling apart at the same time. You may need to slow down and take things one at a time. If you are feeling overwhelmed, ask for help from someone you trust.
You can manage your worry and anxiety by:

• Talking or writing about the things that are bothering you. Even if you are not sure what is bothering you, finding words for your feelings often helps you figure out what is causing your anxiety.
• Taking charge of whatever you can. Making plans to deal with your day-to-day activities and concerns helps relieve the worry and anxiety that springs from a sense of insecurity. However, resist the urge to make major life decisions when you are anxious or worried.
• Allowing other people to do some things for you that you would normally do yourself. This may be difficult. If worries and concerns are interfering with your ability to take care of personal needs and other responsibilities, ask for help from others. Allowing other people to help you also helps them, because it gives them an opportunity to show their care and concern for you.
• Asking for comfort. You may need companionship and help until you feel less anxious and worried. Ask someone you trust to stay with you. This is not a sign of weakness-it is a sign that you are aware of your need and you are taking good care of yourself.

If intense worries and high anxiety last longer than a few days, talk with your health professional or Dr. Nicholas Losito, Ph.D. for  Counseling, medicine, referrals  or a combination of the two may help you manage anxiety that makes it difficult for you to function.

Childhood Emotional Neglect

In my experience, having helped many clients through many losses, one of the greatest prolongers of each of the 5 Stages is having grown up without enough emotional attention, validation and response from one’s parents: Childhood Emotional Neglect, or CEN.When your parents do not respond enough to your emotions as a child, you learn very early and well that your emotions and emotional needs are irrelevant (or even bad) and should be avoided. To adapt, you wall off your feelings and needs so that they will not burden your parents. Not surprisingly, when you are living with your feelings blocked off, it throws major obstacles into your path through the 5 Stages.How Childhood Emotional Neglect Blocks the 5 Stages of Grief
Makes it Hard to Move Past Denial: It’s only a short jump from denying one’s feelings to using denial as a general coping mechanism. It’s easy for a CEN person who has lost a loved one to end up prolonging his grief by refusing to feel the painful feelings that need to be accepted and processed. Alex, who stays busy to avoid his sadness and loss is a perfect example of that. Over time, avoiding your feelings of loss does nothing to process them. The result: you are stuck.
You Can’t Accept or Work With Your Anger: In phase 2, your anger is there to protect you. But if anger wasn’t allowed from you in your childhood home, you may have great difficulty allowing yourself to be angry as a grieving adult. You may be at risk of instead turn your anger inward at yourself, compounding your feeling of loss with even more pain.
Difficulty Accepting Help and Support: CEN makes you feel guilty or weak for having normal emotional needs. It’s hard for you to ask for help or accept comfort from others even in the best of times. When you’re grieving, there are few things that can help more than the love and support of someone who cares about you.
Depression Phase is Prolonged: With your emotions walled off, your anger directed at yourself, and the people most able to support you kept at bay, you are at great risk for getting stuck in a depression that won’t let go. How can Joanne move forward to the next phase, accept the painful reality of her loss and heal from it when her brain chemicals are thrown out of balance by depression?
Open up and talk to someone who can give you comfort. Ask for support and accept it. It will help.
Make a point to feel your feelings of grief, even if only for a brief period every day. Think about the one you’ve lost, and cry if you need to.
Pay attention to whether you are stuck in anger or depression. Might an anti-depressant give you a kick-start to deal with the genuine sad feelings that are waiting to be processed? Consult a professional, if needed.
Start addressing your Childhood Emotional Neglect. It’s important to begin to feel all of your feelings, not just your grief. Just as your grief is blocked in some way, so also is your joy. You need to feel all of your emotions in order to heal and move forward.

The whole point of the 5 Stages is to move through them. Experiencing one phase, allowing yourself to be in it and face it prepares you to move to the next phase. Moving through the phases allows your brain to process the reality, preparing you for acceptance. Acceptance must happen before you can turn your attention forward to rebuilding yourself and your life.If this is you, it’s important to re-direct and focus yourself.4 Ways to Manage Your CEN Through GriefWhen you are grieving something, it’s crucial to acknowledge that you only feel grief when you had something great to begin with. So a part of your grief must be appreciation and gratefulness for what you had.

Christmas Discomforts

Few times of year are more challenging for the emotionally neglected than the holiday season. This is a time replete with family gatherings, family demands, and (should-be) family warmth.Oh sure, you’re good at giving, so that part of the holidays is easy for you. But what about the other aspects of the holidays?Are you required to attend parties that make you uncomfortable?What about the discomfort of all the things left unsaid in your family? Do you feel it extra strongly at the holidays?What about the joy you’re supposed to be feeling this season? Do you struggle to capture some for yourself, but find it difficult to feel it?Some of the particular aspects of Emotional Neglect do get magnified by the family time, parties, expectations and mood of the holidays. Fortunately I’ve written several articles that I think will help guide and support you through these special challenges.

• Painful Feelings Unaddressed in Your Family: Emotionally neglectful families by definition don’t express, talk about or address their members’ feelings adequately. This leaves lots of conflicts and issues unresolved and buried. Now you will be joining your family at a special gathering for the holidays. Unfortunately those pushed-down, unresolved emotions are still there, under the surface. And they can make your family holiday gathering unpredictable and inexplicably painful. Here are two articles to help you understand what’s happening in your family, and know how to cope with it.

• Feeling on the Outside: In order to truly enjoy the holidays you generally need to feel a part of something meaningful, like your family or your community. Yet when you grew up in a household that rejected your emotions, you tend to take that rejected feeling forward into your adult life. It’s very hard to feel warmly welcome anywhere. You naturally, automatically feel on the outside. This feeling is with you, no matter where you go and no matter how many people you are with. This can make the holidays somewhat painful for you. Below are two articles that I hope will help you manage that feeling, and enjoy the holidays more.

• When your emotions are walled off, they can sometimes break through that wall when you least expect it. The post below will help you manage any intense feelings you may have through the various challenges you’ll face this holiday season.

• Discomfort in Groups:  Partly it’s because of that on the outside feeling. Partly it’s because your feelings, which should be guiding you and connecting you in social situations, are too walled off to help you. Maybe it’s because you didn’t get to learn some social/emotional skills when you were growing up. The upshot is that the many parties and events that are held at the holidays put you under extra stress. The two posts below will help you not only get through them, but use them to practice new skills.

Life Seek To Be Reeled INTO Secured and Safe Environment

Grief and Loss just steam from death of a family member. We can also experience they way we are treated from employment, living conditions, and how we are perceived from society.

I have been assistance such a person from rude and crude ways from employer that pushed a much hidden agenda they had other employee providing oberservations to the senior staff regarding work and other non work related experience. From the very start my patient suffered more from being thrown into a VASH project based housing in another city from where my patient resided. VA did not provide safe, secure, and warm living conditions after the present administration took everything away from my patient.

Since, the debacle occurred health has taken a toll on the patient with a few stays in the Medical Center. I was the only one that made a visit to ensure proper treatments, care, and provided uplifting improved Self –Esteem.

The current administration is not friendly towards Veterans with educations. We believe the reason my patient has been treated so shabbily with a lot of disrespect. With that being said, we were not granted a status for 501 (3c), since we are Radical Right Wing Extremists. 

We Implore you kind and generous care to provide items and services, which will slingshot my patient back into employment, Improved Living Conditions, along with a vehicle, which will provide transportation for employment with a quick evacuation,when employment is securely secured.    

We have set up an Bereavement Appeal at https://igg.me/at/aEJufQ5xizc 

Items which are currently requested for the Thanksgiving and Christmas days of Appreciation :

·         Dental and Vision Exams

·         Employment

·         Improved Living Conditions

·         2008 Chevrolet with trailer hitch

·         Long bed trailer

·         10 W boots and shoots

·         Form fitted clothing

·         Laundry and dry cleaning services

·         Auto Insurance for 1 year

On behalf of my Patient / Veteran, we are very grateful for your support and care. 

Handling Grief and Bereavement

Most caregivers who lose a loved one will experience a normal sense of grief and bereavement. Normal, though, does not mean free of emotional, physical, and spiritual pain. Here are things you can do to help with those feelings:  Know the triggers. The first year will have many emotional triggers: first birthday without the loved one, the first Thanksgiving, the anniversary of the death. When these "firsts" occur, the waves of grief can come crashing back.Know your priorities. It's important to maintain friendships, routines, activities, and other things that nourish you physically, emotionally, and spiritually.Plan for the unexpected. One way to do this is to think about and rehearse your responses to the questions others might ask. Doing so can keep you from being blindsided.Don't bottle things up. Talk to the palliative care social worker, counselor, advance practice nurse, and physician. Talking about things helps you acknowledge your feelings and enables you to say good-bye and find emotional closure.Don't try to do it alone. Before your loved one is gone, make sure you've put together a support system made up of people you can count on to be there, lean on for support, and depend on for help with chores and other things that need to be done.Don't make big changes. During the first year avoid doing things that will mean a major change in your life. Don't move, don't get divorced, don't cut off communication with people you are close to. Experts say you will be a different person as time passes.Take care of your health. That doesn't just mean eat well, get a good night's sleep, and exercise. It means doing things that ensure emotional and spiritual well-being, too.Don't isolate yourself. Loneliness breeds loneliness. Don't turn down invitations, even though going out may be the last thing you want to do.Deal with anger. Anger is self-perpetuating and can snowball. Grief counseling can help you understand and deal with the anger you feel.Keep the faith. Religion won't "fix" things, experts say. But it can help normalize them. And belonging to a faith group means you have a community for support.Take up new activities. New activities help you form new patterns of doing things and new interests that are not associated with the person who has died.Make humor part of your coping routine. Humor can help provide perspective on the way your life is changing.

What Can I Do if My Grief Won't Go Away?

If grief continues and causes a prolonged and deep depression with physical symptoms such as poor sleep, loss of appetite, weight loss, and even thoughts of suicide, you may have a condition known as complicated bereavement. Talk with your doctor as soon as possible. For Added Support Dr. Losito can provide support through Skype. Dr. Losito's can be contact at mentalhealthguy  Sometimes, a major depression can develop along with the normal feelings of loss or sadness linked with grief. Whereas normal sadness as part of a grief reaction may subside after several months, major depression is a medical disorder that is different from normal grief, can occur at any time (even in the immediate aftermath of a death of loss), and requires treatment to be resolved.