Christmas Discomforts

Few times of year are more challenging for the emotionally neglected than the holiday season. This is a time replete with family gatherings, family demands, and (should-be) family warmth.Oh sure, you’re good at giving, so that part of the holidays is easy for you. But what about the other aspects of the holidays?Are you required to attend parties that make you uncomfortable?What about the discomfort of all the things left unsaid in your family? Do you feel it extra strongly at the holidays?What about the joy you’re supposed to be feeling this season? Do you struggle to capture some for yourself, but find it difficult to feel it?Some of the particular aspects of Emotional Neglect do get magnified by the family time, parties, expectations and mood of the holidays. Fortunately I’ve written several articles that I think will help guide and support you through these special challenges.

• Painful Feelings Unaddressed in Your Family: Emotionally neglectful families by definition don’t express, talk about or address their members’ feelings adequately. This leaves lots of conflicts and issues unresolved and buried. Now you will be joining your family at a special gathering for the holidays. Unfortunately those pushed-down, unresolved emotions are still there, under the surface. And they can make your family holiday gathering unpredictable and inexplicably painful. Here are two articles to help you understand what’s happening in your family, and know how to cope with it.

• Feeling on the Outside: In order to truly enjoy the holidays you generally need to feel a part of something meaningful, like your family or your community. Yet when you grew up in a household that rejected your emotions, you tend to take that rejected feeling forward into your adult life. It’s very hard to feel warmly welcome anywhere. You naturally, automatically feel on the outside. This feeling is with you, no matter where you go and no matter how many people you are with. This can make the holidays somewhat painful for you. Below are two articles that I hope will help you manage that feeling, and enjoy the holidays more.

• When your emotions are walled off, they can sometimes break through that wall when you least expect it. The post below will help you manage any intense feelings you may have through the various challenges you’ll face this holiday season.

• Discomfort in Groups:  Partly it’s because of that on the outside feeling. Partly it’s because your feelings, which should be guiding you and connecting you in social situations, are too walled off to help you. Maybe it’s because you didn’t get to learn some social/emotional skills when you were growing up. The upshot is that the many parties and events that are held at the holidays put you under extra stress. The two posts below will help you not only get through them, but use them to practice new skills.

Life Seek To Be Reeled INTO Secured and Safe Environment

Grief and Loss just steam from death of a family member. We can also experience they way we are treated from employment, living conditions, and how we are perceived from society.

I have been assistance such a person from rude and crude ways from employer that pushed a much hidden agenda they had other employee providing oberservations to the senior staff regarding work and other non work related experience. From the very start my patient suffered more from being thrown into a VASH project based housing in another city from where my patient resided. VA did not provide safe, secure, and warm living conditions after the present administration took everything away from my patient.

Since, the debacle occurred health has taken a toll on the patient with a few stays in the Medical Center. I was the only one that made a visit to ensure proper treatments, care, and provided uplifting improved Self –Esteem.

The current administration is not friendly towards Veterans with educations. We believe the reason my patient has been treated so shabbily with a lot of disrespect. With that being said, we were not granted a status for 501 (3c), since we are Radical Right Wing Extremists. 

We Implore you kind and generous care to provide items and services, which will slingshot my patient back into employment, Improved Living Conditions, along with a vehicle, which will provide transportation for employment with a quick evacuation,when employment is securely secured.    

We have set up an Bereavement Appeal at https://igg.me/at/aEJufQ5xizc 

Items which are currently requested for the Thanksgiving and Christmas days of Appreciation :

·         Dental and Vision Exams

·         Employment

·         Improved Living Conditions

·         2008 Chevrolet with trailer hitch

·         Long bed trailer

·         10 W boots and shoots

·         Form fitted clothing

·         Laundry and dry cleaning services

·         Auto Insurance for 1 year

On behalf of my Patient / Veteran, we are very grateful for your support and care. 

Handling Grief and Bereavement

Most caregivers who lose a loved one will experience a normal sense of grief and bereavement. Normal, though, does not mean free of emotional, physical, and spiritual pain. Here are things you can do to help with those feelings:  Know the triggers. The first year will have many emotional triggers: first birthday without the loved one, the first Thanksgiving, the anniversary of the death. When these "firsts" occur, the waves of grief can come crashing back.Know your priorities. It's important to maintain friendships, routines, activities, and other things that nourish you physically, emotionally, and spiritually.Plan for the unexpected. One way to do this is to think about and rehearse your responses to the questions others might ask. Doing so can keep you from being blindsided.Don't bottle things up. Talk to the palliative care social worker, counselor, advance practice nurse, and physician. Talking about things helps you acknowledge your feelings and enables you to say good-bye and find emotional closure.Don't try to do it alone. Before your loved one is gone, make sure you've put together a support system made up of people you can count on to be there, lean on for support, and depend on for help with chores and other things that need to be done.Don't make big changes. During the first year avoid doing things that will mean a major change in your life. Don't move, don't get divorced, don't cut off communication with people you are close to. Experts say you will be a different person as time passes.Take care of your health. That doesn't just mean eat well, get a good night's sleep, and exercise. It means doing things that ensure emotional and spiritual well-being, too.Don't isolate yourself. Loneliness breeds loneliness. Don't turn down invitations, even though going out may be the last thing you want to do.Deal with anger. Anger is self-perpetuating and can snowball. Grief counseling can help you understand and deal with the anger you feel.Keep the faith. Religion won't "fix" things, experts say. But it can help normalize them. And belonging to a faith group means you have a community for support.Take up new activities. New activities help you form new patterns of doing things and new interests that are not associated with the person who has died.Make humor part of your coping routine. Humor can help provide perspective on the way your life is changing.

What Can I Do if My Grief Won't Go Away?

If grief continues and causes a prolonged and deep depression with physical symptoms such as poor sleep, loss of appetite, weight loss, and even thoughts of suicide, you may have a condition known as complicated bereavement. Talk with your doctor as soon as possible. For Added Support Dr. Losito can provide support through Skype. Dr. Losito's can be contact at mentalhealthguy  Sometimes, a major depression can develop along with the normal feelings of loss or sadness linked with grief. Whereas normal sadness as part of a grief reaction may subside after several months, major depression is a medical disorder that is different from normal grief, can occur at any time (even in the immediate aftermath of a death of loss), and requires treatment to be resolved.

The Truth

The Truth Is Unbiased, The Truth Cannot Be Changed, It Can Only Be Altered or Stretched,

In The End It Always Wins in The End Denial Is Only Temporary.

 The Truth Is Not Kind, The Truth Is Not Cruel

 The Truth Does Not Love, The Truth Does Not Hate,

 The Truth Glorifies, The Truth Defames,

 The Truth Builds, The Truth Destroys,

 The Truth Empowers, The Truth Humbles,

 The Truth Is Loved, The Truth Is Hated,

 The Truth Is Accepted, The Truth Is Rejected

 The Truth Is Tolerated, The Truth Is Not Tolerated,

 The Truth Can Be Delayed, But Not Stopped,

 The Truth Is Set Not Changed

 The Truth Is Fulfilling the Truth Is Great.

 The Truth Is Painful, The Truth Is Pleasurable

 The Truth Is Unstoppable It Cannot Be Killed Only Hidden Temporarily

 The Truth Is the Beginning and The End,

 The Truth Is Hated by The Wicked Feared and Loved by The Corrupt, Loved by The Good

 The Truth Is the Greatest Nightmare to All Yet Also the Sword to All

 The Truth Destroys the Lies the Truth Will Destroy You If You Resist It

 The Truth Will Build You If You Accept and Embrace It

 The Truth Is Not False the Truth Is the Truth

 The Truth Is Your Ally the Truth Being Your Enemy Your Decision,

 The Truth Will Set You Free, The Truth Will Indict You

 The Truth Can Be Fought but Not Defeated for IN THE END THE TRUTH SHALL PREVAIL

Death by Dr. Carl Jung, MD

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LOxlZm2AU4o&ebc=ANyPxKrzF3QWbfMhvuEm4dq862_GXG-exIs0PRZRjqyziDuirv3nZaVSpJYpmB6-Fgvz_xxnM3dhFO_R9SYFGerHjm87OPl9hg

An Examination of Death from Dr. Carl Jung, MD on the direction 

towards to Death. Think on the line of Nature According the 

Honorable Doctor .

What do you Say at the hour of Death

What do you say to a person that is dying?  What about someone who is dying without Christ?  What I would say to a person who is dying in the faith of Jesus Christ is quite different than what I would say to a person that is dying and does not believe in Him.  My first thought of someone who is dying without Jesus Christ is that they will be forever separated from God with no second chance of reconciliation.  That the person who dies without Christ will be cut off from God for eternity is something that rends my heart.  I have had experiences with both.

What to Say to a Person Dying Without Christ?

I would ask them if they have ever heard about Jesus.  What do they think about Him?  Do they believe in God?  What do they believe will happen to them after they die?  Where would a person spend eternity after death?  These are sobering questions that are very serious.  I would never shy away from asking a person who may not have long to live these questions.  There eternal destiny is at stake.  The fact is that no one who is without Christ has any guarantee that they will live beyond tonight.  They could die in their sleep.  They could die tomorrow in an accident.  I certainly would hope that they would not but the Bible says that there is a day of judgment coming.  Whether they believe it or not does not change the reality of this fact.

Hebrews 9:27 actually says that we have a day that God has appointed for us to die, saying “And just as it is appointed for man to die once, and after that comes judgment.”  God has actually given each human being a set number of days to live.  Psalm 139:16 makes this clear, “Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.” Ecclesiastes 3:2a clearly indicates that there is “a time to be born and a time to die.”

The only thing that you can say to someone who does not know Christ and is dying is to reveal to them that they will spend eternity somewhere.  You can tell them that if they have lost any loved ones who were believers, they are now safely in the bosom of Jesus.  This is nothing more certain than death and nothing more sure than Jesus Christ’s free offer of salvation through belief in Him.  He came to earth to live a perfect life, leaving His glory in heaven.  He came to have God place His holy wrath on Him in our place so that we might be able to spend eternity with Him.  That is His desire.  God keeps His promises and if you believe in Him, He will never leave you nor forsake you even after death (Heb 13:5).   Second Peter 3:9 reveals that “The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.”  Knowing that He doesn’t want anyone to perish without Him, if you will place your trust in Him, He will give you saving faith.

Here is all that is involved.

“If you declare with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved” (Rom 10:9).

“Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved—you and your household” (Acts 16:31).

“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life” (John 3:16).

How to Pray With the Dying: 5 Helpful Tips

Tip Number One- Read and Quote The Bible

The Scriptures above are great to read again and to ensure them that since they believe in Him and all the promises that Jesus has made, then they have no worries after the die.  You will most likely have to read them back to them but they may want to do this themselves.  Leave it up to them, even if this means that they don’t want them read back to them.  Respect their rights.  Do as they say.  If they profess these beliefs, then we can know that they already have eternal life.  John 6:54 says “Whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood (become a believer and participated in Communion) has eternal life, and I will raise them up at the last day.”  Of course if they haven’t had a chance to be baptized or to have Communion, I try to reassure them that God is faithful and will not suffer us to remain in the grave if we believe in Him (John 3:16).  There is real power in the Word of God so I try to use this power.  In fact, the verses above contain the very power of God.  The power is actually in the gospel as Paul says in Romans 1:16b, “because it is the power of God that brings salvation to everyone who believes: first to the Jew, then to the Gentile.”

Tip Number Two- Comfort Them

I have experienced this situation and it is such an amazing thing being with a saint that is near death and with their having the full assurance of faith in Christ.  This is somewhat easier in the sense that you can provide comfort with the surety of God’s promises from His inerrant Word.  It is always good to have a person reaffirm their beliefs.  The certainty of the promises of God can provide peace and comfort knowing that those who die in Christ will be absent from the body but will be present with the Lord (2 Cor 5:8).

Tip Number Three- Pray With Them

Pray with them.  For me, I have been moved to tears…and that’s okay.  It is completely natural. They may cry as well.  There is healing in tears.  It is highly likely that they have endured great suffering up to this point and that great day with the Lord is something to eagerly anticipate.

Now this is just my own personal preference and of course, you can use your own methods and words, but I love praying back some of God’s promises.  You may have special verses or a prayer from the Bible that you use, but I love using the Word of God in prayer because God loves it when we pray back His promises. The Psalms for example are full of hope-filled assurances that we can count on.  So here is my own personal prayer using Scriptures that I love but I don‘t include chapter and verse:

“Oh Righteous Father, we know our days are numbered in your book of life and that precious in your sight are the death of your saints.  We are so thankful that we can stand on your promises and know that when we die, we are instantly in your holy presence.  All of those who have gone before us, beloved friends and family, are there waiting for us.  We know that death can not hold us because just as Jesus died and was resurrected, we too know that we also will be raised to eternal life.  There is such peace in knowing that there will be no more tears, no more sorrow, and no more pain.  What great and precious promises you have given us.  We know that nothing can ever separate us from your love.  No one or nothing can snatch us out of Your mighty hands.  Blessed Lord, please be with [name] in this time and with his/her family; to comfort, strengthen, and encourage them during the coming difficult days and times ahead.  We pray that Your tender mercies be upon [name] now.  I thank God for [name] and the faithfulness that he/she has shown in their life.  [name] has placed his/her trust and faith in You and we know that you will never leave [name] nor forsake him/her.  We thank you for your precious gift of salvation which came through the precious the blood of the lamb of God at supreme cost.  Our atonement was made possible by Him and has made us one with You.  We ask these things in the power, majesty, glorious, and most holy name of our Savior, King, Master, and Lord, Jesus Christ. Amen.

Tip Number Four – Ask Them What They Need Help With

I ask them if they have any special considerations that I could help them with.  Is there something that you want to say or write down that I can tell others?  Is there something that I can do for you after you are gone?  What is it that I can help you with today?  If I give the eulogy and/or the memorial service, I ask them what they would like me to say.  What is it that you want me to tell others?  What special considerations for the service like music would you want included?  Does your family know of your wishes?

Tip Number Five- Talk About Heaven

I not only like to describe where their eternal destination will be like but what their final home will be like.  There are many biblical descriptions of what heaven will be like.  There are some from Isaiah and some from Revelation.  The glorious description of heaven is just too incredible to be told in words. Its total glory will only be revealed when we finally see it for ourselves.  All of our beloved family and friends will be there to greet us.  All of the heartaches and pains will be a thing of the past.  What a wonderful eternity this will be.  It is the final joy of our eternal inheritance.  Jesus said that He has reserved a place for us.  And of course we can fall into the arms of our Savior. We will fall as His feet and worship Him forever.  We have eternal life and this eternity with God will be so overwhelming that it can not be described.  What joy awaits us all some great day.

Your Ticket to Heaven

No one comes to the Father (and heaven) except through Jesus Christ (John 6:44).  There is no other way to gain eternal life than through the Son of God (Acts 4:12).  If you are not yet a believer in Jesus Christ, I pray that you will come to saving faith today.  Jesus says “Come to me all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest” (Matt. 11:28).  “I will in no way caste you out” (John 6:37).  Jesus says that, “You will never be snatched out of My hands nor our of My Father’s hands” (John 10:28-29).  If you will only believe in Me, you can have eternal life (John3:16).  That is my prayer for you this very day.