Christmas Discomforts

Few times of year are more challenging for the emotionally neglected than the holiday season. This is a time replete with family gatherings, family demands, and (should-be) family warmth.Oh sure, you’re good at giving, so that part of the holidays is easy for you. But what about the other aspects of the holidays?Are you required to attend parties that make you uncomfortable?What about the discomfort of all the things left unsaid in your family? Do you feel it extra strongly at the holidays?What about the joy you’re supposed to be feeling this season? Do you struggle to capture some for yourself, but find it difficult to feel it?Some of the particular aspects of Emotional Neglect do get magnified by the family time, parties, expectations and mood of the holidays. Fortunately I’ve written several articles that I think will help guide and support you through these special challenges.

• Painful Feelings Unaddressed in Your Family: Emotionally neglectful families by definition don’t express, talk about or address their members’ feelings adequately. This leaves lots of conflicts and issues unresolved and buried. Now you will be joining your family at a special gathering for the holidays. Unfortunately those pushed-down, unresolved emotions are still there, under the surface. And they can make your family holiday gathering unpredictable and inexplicably painful. Here are two articles to help you understand what’s happening in your family, and know how to cope with it.

• Feeling on the Outside: In order to truly enjoy the holidays you generally need to feel a part of something meaningful, like your family or your community. Yet when you grew up in a household that rejected your emotions, you tend to take that rejected feeling forward into your adult life. It’s very hard to feel warmly welcome anywhere. You naturally, automatically feel on the outside. This feeling is with you, no matter where you go and no matter how many people you are with. This can make the holidays somewhat painful for you. Below are two articles that I hope will help you manage that feeling, and enjoy the holidays more.

• When your emotions are walled off, they can sometimes break through that wall when you least expect it. The post below will help you manage any intense feelings you may have through the various challenges you’ll face this holiday season.

• Discomfort in Groups:  Partly it’s because of that on the outside feeling. Partly it’s because your feelings, which should be guiding you and connecting you in social situations, are too walled off to help you. Maybe it’s because you didn’t get to learn some social/emotional skills when you were growing up. The upshot is that the many parties and events that are held at the holidays put you under extra stress. The two posts below will help you not only get through them, but use them to practice new skills.