Trust In the Eternal Physician Frequently !!!

“How to find Christmas peace in a world of unrest? You cannot find peace on the outside, but you can find peace on the inside, by letting God do to your soul what Mary let Him do to her body. Namely, let Christ be formed in you.”

– Venerable Fulton J. Sheen

No Christmas Sadness

The Celebration of Savior of the World Birthday ought to be most happiness, joy, and fun-filled celebrations spent with family and friends, right? That Seems Not be the case ! For many, the Christmas Season falls far short of these expectations, which can result in increased stress, mild depression, and feelings of anxiety. We call this emotional reaction “Christmas sadness.”

As you think about the Christmas sadness, you may remember a holiday that left you feeling less than festive – a particular situation that sparked your

Christmas sadness. So, what to do? Before we talk about solutions, let us consider a few things that may fuel these feelings. Keep track of how many of these describe your typical Holy Days:

·         Unrealistic holiday expectations – expecting a Holy Day

·         Excessive time demands – work, shopping, parties, decorating, family obligations

• Nostalgic memories of past Christmas celebrations

·         Conflicted family relationships that may worsen during the holidays

·         Overspending on gifts, travel, and entertainment

• Overindulgence in alcohol and Christmas foods

If any of these ring a bell yes, do not despair. There are things you can do to keep the Christmas sadness away.

·         Maintain healthy habits. Eat healthy foods, get plenty of sleep, and exercise regularly.

·         Adopt realistic expectations. Do not expect a perfect HOLY Day – it does not exist. Avoid comparing your Christmas to what you see on social media. Remember, most people only post the good stuff. Do not expect your family members to get along during Christmas, when there is conflict throughout the year.

·         Create a budget. Stick to it. Overspending only worsens the Christmas sadness.

·         Set appropriate limits. Prioritize demands on your time, and say “no” to certain invitations and activities. Be realistic about what you can and cannot do. Pace yourself. Avoid overextending yourself so you do not end up feeling resentful and overwhelmed.

·         Volunteer. Help someone in need or donate a gift to a needy child or family.

·         Enjoy festive Parish and civic activities. Many of these activities are free.

·         Moderate your alcohol consumption. Alcohol is a depressant and can intensify the Christmas Sadness.

• Manage excessive consumption of Christmas foods. Indulging will only add to your stress and feelings of guilt. Eat a healthy snack before going to a Christmas party. Hunger will set you up to overindulge.

If trying to put all of these tips into action feels like too much to tackle, just pick a few that you think will prove most beneficial and try them this year.

Review the list and see how you did. Do you need to add things to your list next year to further improvement Christmas? If yes, make those decisions now while the thought is fresh on your mind, and have your 2018 holiday plan ready to go. By being proactive, you will have one less thing on your commotion list next year.

Christmas Is the Outstanding means to connect with others, to relax and reflect, and to relish feelings of love and gratitude. To keep the holiday blues from diminishing this special time, be mindful of the behaviors and situations that fuel stress and negative feelings, and proactively make choices and decisions that will make your holiday a healthy and enjoyable one.

May the Eternal Physician of the World Heal, Bless, and Protect you.

In case you seek the extra boost, you can contact Dr. Losito via Skype at “menthhealthguy.”

Should Be Prayed Often As An Act Of Mercy.

Which are very useful to a dying person, and should be prayed often as an act of mercy.

There once was a Pope in Rome who was surrounded by many sins. The Lord God struck him with a fatal illness. When he saw that he was dying, he summoned cardinals, bishops, and learned persons and said to them: “My dear friends! What comfort can you give me now that I must die, and when I deserve eternal damnation for my sins?” No one answered him. One of them, a pious curate named John said: “Father, why do you doubt the Mercy of God?” The Pope replied: “What comfort can you give me now that I must die and fear that I’ll be damned for my sins?” John replied: “I’ll read three prayers over you; I hope you’ll be comforted and that you’ll obtain Mercy from God.” The Pope was unable to say more. The curate and all those present knelt and said an Our Father, then the following Prayers:

1. Prayer

Lord Jesus Christ! Thou Son of God and Son of the Virgin Mary, God and Man, Thou who in fear sweated blood for us on the Mount of Olives in order to bring peace, and to offer Thy Most Holy Death to God, Thy Heavenly Father, for the salvation of this dying person…if it be, however, that by his sins he merits eternal damnation, then may it be deflected from him. This, O Eternal Father through Our Lord Jesus Christ, Thy Dear Son, Who liveth and reigneth in union with the Holy Spirit now and forever. Amen.

2. Prayer

Lord Jesus Christ! Thou Who meekly died on the trunk of the Cross for us, submitting Thy Will completely to Thy Heavenly Father in order to bring peace and to offer Thy most Holy Death to Thy Heavenly Father in order to free…(this person)… and to hide from him what he has earned with his sins; grant this, O Eternal Father! Through Our Lord, Jesus, Thy Son, Who liveth and reigneth with Thee in union with the Holy Spirit now and forever. Amen.

 3. Prayer

Lord Jesus Christ! Thou Who remained silent to speak through the mouths of the Prophets: I have drawn Thee to me through Eternal Love, which Love drew Thee from Heaven into the body of the Virgin, which Love drew Thee from the body of the Virgin into the valley of this needful world, which Love kept Thee 33 years in this world, and as a sign of Great Love, Thou hast given Thy Holy Body as True Food and Thy Holy Blood as True Drink, as a sign of Great Love, Thou has consented to be a prisoner and to be led from one judge to another and as a sign of Great Love Thou hast consented to be condemned to death, and hast consented to die and to be buried and truly risen, and appeared to Thy Holy Mother and all the Holy Apostles, and as a sign of Great Love Thou hast ascended, under Thy own Strength and Power, and sitteth at the Right Hand of God, Thy Heavenly Father, and Thou has sent Thy Holy Spirit into the hearts of Thy Apostles and the hearts of all who hope and believe in Thee. Through Thy Sign of Eternal Love, open Heaven today and take this dying person…and all his sins into the Realm of Thy Heavenly Father, that he may reign with Thee now and forever. Amen.

 Meanwhile the Pope died. The curate persevered to the third hour, then the Pope appeared to him in body and comforted him. His countenance as brilliant as the sun, his clothes as white as snow, he said: “My dear brother! Whereas I was supposed to be a child of damnation, I’ve become a child of happiness. As you recited the first Prayer, many of my sins fell from me as rain from Heaven, and as you recited the second Prayer, I was purified, as a goldsmith purifies gold in a hot fire. I was still further purified as you recited the third Prayer. Then I saw Heaven open and the Lord, Jesus, standing on the Right Hand of God the Father Who said to me: “Come, all thy sins are forgiven thee, you’ll be and remain in the Realm of My Father forever. Amen!”

With these words, my soul separated from my body and the Angels of God led it to Eternal Joy. As the curate heard this, he said: “O Holy Father! I can’t tell these things to anyone, for they won’t believe me.” Then the Pope said: “Truly I tell thee, the Angel of God stands with me and has written the prayers in letters of gold for the consolation of all sinners. If a person had committed all the sins in the world, but that the three Prayers shall have been read (over him) at his end (death), all his sins will be forgiven him, even though his soul was supposed to suffer until the Last Judgment, it will be redeemed (freed).

The person who hears them read, won’t die an unhappy death, nor in whose house they will be read. Therefore, take these prayers and carry them into St. Peter’s Basilica and lay them in the Chapel named the Assumption of Mary, for certain consolation. The person who will be near death, who reads them or hears them read, gains 400 years indulgence for the days he was supposed to suffer in Purgatory because of his guilt. Also, who reads this Prayer or hears it read, the hour of his death shall be revealed to him. Amen!

Unexpected Death

If you truly want to honor your deceased loved one let their dying and death stir you up!
Death wasn’t designed to be neat and clean. It wasn’t created to be efficient and medicalized.  It wasn’t fashioned to be politically correct or professional. Death was designed to stir us up and get our attention, to bring us present to life so to speak.

In a way death was designed to wake us up, to remind us we are alive, to get us back on purpose. Let me give you several examples that demonstrate what I mean.

My Father's Vincent's unexpected death back in February 1996, which was my 36th birthday sure a great loss to all of us who knew and loved him. I miss him deeply to this very day.  That being said I turned my life upside down for the better because of his death! I realized no matter how much wealth I amassed or how many assets I had none of them would get my father back. I also saw that I was not so happy in my career, it was no longer me.  I quit shortly after, moved out west and began a new career in community and hospice.  My Pop's death as uncomfortable as it was also a gift –
I got to reinvent myself!

My Mentor Monsignor Andrew V. Coffey, PA, death in  August 2010 - I had a similar impact on my life. Experienced him die over a 12 years particularly in the last five months of his life was really uncomfortable – it was very hard to witness. I wasn’t in denial – I was in discomfort! Previously, I Was him in Davis on a Saturday how much pain he was in during that time. He even prepared me lunch, which I loved a lot. The next 72 hours he entered Mercy McMahon. I knew then, I would not see him alive again.

Monsignor's death reminded me loudly that I was alive and he was dead – how extremely Blessed I am to BE alive. It shook me up in a very real way. Being with Father Andrew, as he was dying my body got a first hand wake up call on a cellular level. If my body could speak this is what it would say;  “You too are going to die. Get on with fully living your life. You have no time to waste.” And so I have.  Again, a sad and painful loss enlivened my own life.

I saw first hand their pain and grief – sometimes I witnessed their upset, anger, and confusion as end of life planning was not done or done poorly. Example after example taught me how very important great end of life preparation is. The pain families went through, though difficult and sometimes uncomfortable to witness, inspired me to get all my end of life paperwork in order and further to talk with my immediate family about the contents of my ‘death binder’. Now complete and there to guide my family in the event of my death I feel I have done what a responsible person, husband, and father would do. I have a deeper sense of freedom given all is in place, relief if you will, knowing my family responsibilities have been handled. Now I am getting on with living fully.

So, notice in each of these three examples despite the loss, the sadness, the grief, and the pain there was a ‘gift’. My willingness to be in the discomfort of the loss, to feel it deeply and experience it fully opened the door to me being able to discover the wisdom there was to glean from the death I had witnessed. I let death be my teacher. Had I run from the discomfort, covered up and pulled away from the raw reality of the dying and the death I would not have stumbled into the lessons death provided for me.

Instead of pulling back from dying and death step towards it. Be willing to feel the discomfort, the loss, the missing, and the grief in a real and human way. Doing this opens the door for profound learning and keys to living life even more fully – to live with passionate abandon.

7 Reasons

1.) I believe all persons have the right to the powerful and protective benefits of faith, whatever that may be for them, especially during times of struggle and illness.


2.) I believe all persons deserve well-trained caregivers to be with them just as they are​ as they access and explore their own beliefs to find meaning, peace, and comfort.


3.) I believe that if we fail to provide competent spiritual care then we are subtly engaging in spiritual neglect, because we fail to treat the whole person.


4.) I believe when persons invite a spiritual care counselor (“chaplain”) or other healthcare worker into their home and life to care for them at one of the most vulnerable times imaginable, they deserve that care to come without judgment or coercion, whether unintentional or direct, which can equate to spiritual abuse.


5.) I believe that well-meaning and well-intentioned healthcare workers desperately want to serve patients and families well and simply need the support and training necessary to be able to do so without unwittingly committing either extreme of spiritual malpractice.


6.) I believe when we are personally developed well enough to BE with the suffering of others and trust them to find their way, we will be able to accept them, their path, and their pain without needing them to be different so we can feel better.


7.) I believe the greatest honor, dignity, and act of service we can give others is our ability to sit well-enough with our own pain so that we can be comfortable sitting with them in theirs until they find their own way, their own meaning, and their own answers.

Prayer Requested

Every time I train healthcare professionals about ethical and respectful spiritual care for persons of all faiths, backgrounds, or even no faith, I’m ALWAYS asked this question:

“What do I do if they ask me to pray?”

Nurses, aids, physicians, and volunteers most frequently ask this, and I greatly respect them for doing so!  We want to neither neglect persons’ R/S/E (Religious/Spiritual/Existential) needs nor abuse our position of “power” in the caregiving relationship by overstepping boundaries. I train professionals to, among other things, find the “Sweet Spot” in spiritual care.

The “Sweet Spot” is that space in the middle from which we learn what patients and families believe, then help them access their beliefs to find meaning, peace, and comfort. 

The fact that they want to handle such moments thoughtfully indicates a humility and compassion in care-giving that bodes well for their professionalism and their ability to avoid either extreme of what I call “spiritual malpractice”.

Even professional, clinically trained spiritual care counselors (chaplains) are taught to tread carefully when offering prayer.  We do not want persons to feel obligated to accept because they don’t feel comfortable telling us “No”.  So what DO we do in those moments?

1.)  Start with a patient-centered view–I believe that merely wanting to prevent harm by respecting a patient or family member’s boundaries and honoring their views is well over half the battle.  So we’re already off to a good start!

2.)  Let them initiate–Many fear that NOT offering to pray may offend or abandon a person who is in distress, but there is another way.

Even as a hospice chaplain, the member of the team MOST expected to offer prayer, I’ll simply state at the first visit, “Some persons want to talk, others want me to sing or read meaningful texts with them, some just want to sit quietly, some want me to pray, and others just want to play checkers.  Whatever it is you would like, I’m happy to do.”

Before I leave, I’ll ask if there’s anything else I can do for them.  At that point, some ask me to pray while others do not.  I indicate my willingness, and they can choose whether or when to ask.  What I am willing to give freely, I must be willing to never have requested.

Since this is their journey, their illness, their process, their life and it IS all about them, I get to have no ego invested here.  I trust them to take the lead by asking for what they need.  If I offer directly to pray, it can be very hard for them to refuse, even if they absolutely do not want me to do so.

That is why I recommend non-spiritual care professionals allow the request to come from the patient or family.  They may have never felt comfortable setting boundaries.

Now, at perhaps the most emotionally and physically vulnerable time of their lives, they may be even more wary of telling the persons bringing the good drugs, help with bathing and Medicare forms, supplies, support for their families, etc. “No” and risk offending us. 

There are creative ways to be available without putting them in that awkward position.

3.)  Determine your own comfort zone–Some professionals ask me the “do I pray” question with a deer in the headlights look!  Praying aloud is not their thing, yet they don’t want to feel like a clod and abandon someone in pain if they ask for prayer.

If you do NOT feel comfortable praying aloud, here is a sample response that can be said apologetically and gently:

“Praying out loud isn’t something I’m (comfortable with / good at / experienced with, etc.)  But I’d be happy to sit with you and hold your hand while we both pray in silence or you while pray aloud.  And I’ll definitely be holding you in my heart.”

If it feels appropriate, you can also offer to call for one of us!  “You know, this is what our spiritual care counselor (chaplain) is trained to do. May I call on him/her?”

4.)  Find their words–If you DO feel comfortable praying aloud, make sure you know how to pray in a way that honors the patient / family member’s beliefs.  The quickest and simplest way to do that is to ask,

“How do you typically begin and end your prayers?”      

Using the language that is comfortable for them honors their right to choose or refuse medical interventions and, since we’re talking about healthcare settings and professional relationships here, that’s what this is!  This prayer is for them, not for us, and they deserve to lead the way.

It is also important to ask them what they would like you to pray for.  If they ask you to pray for healing, ask them what healing looks like to them.  Then, equipped with words from their own heart, you can offer those words back, out loud, as a prayer that respects their needs.

Even if you fumble, most people can tell when we are honestly trying to be respectful, and they so appreciate the heck out of that they can typically overlook imperfect attempts to meet them where they are.

It’s important to note that I’m not asking you to deny your own faith or views.  For some, the two are not mutually exclusive.  But for others, it is simply too big of a leap from what feels do-able for them.  That’s ok!  That’s why you have someone on the team who IS trained to be able to care for the needs of persons of all views.

Part of our professional responsibility is knowing when to “refer out”.  There is no shame in doing so.  The only shame would be to, even if well-intentioned, cause harm to those for whom we are committed to honor and care.

If you do not feel you can comfortably be with them using their words, it is completely acceptable to refer back to #3 above and then call for the spiritual care counselor (chaplain)!  There is no reason for anyone, patient or professional, to suffer offense here.

5.)  Follow up–It is good practice to touch base with the spiritual care counselor (chaplain) with whom you work.  If a patient tells me they’re having a physical symptom, I call the nurse and let him or her know.  If they’re struggling with family dynamics, I contact the social worker.

It’s no different if someone expresses spiritual symptoms.  Coordinating care with the professional responsible for overseeing that aspect of a patient’s treatment plan is important and respects interprofessional boundaries.

I’ll write more about honoring and finding the “Sweet Spot” in spiritual care another day.  

For now, I hope something of this is helpful to you as we all seek to care well for that sacred trust placed in us by persons walking a tremendous journey who deserve nothing less than our very best skills.

3 Tips to Make Your Work More Enjoyable

After spending 10 plus  years in hospice work and being a Chaplain for 18 I have learned a few things about healthcare workers:  they are usually exhausted, under-valued, and not paid well.  You show me someone who works hard everyday work day and I will point you to a healthcare worker.  For Sure  Yes !

Don't get me wrong.  I am NOT saying that engineers or railroad technicians don't put in a good days work.  I am NOT saying that teachers are slackers and those who work in accounting have "posh" jobs.  I am not even saying that pastors, clergy, and chaplains have it easy.  What I AM SAYING is that caregivers, healthcare workers, hospice and palliative care workers have demanding jobs with the added stress of "life being in their hands". 

So if you are a healthcare worker, if you take care of the elderly, disabled, work in the hospital, hospice, palliative care, ER, Intensive Care, or with rehabilitation- this one is for you!

3 Tips to Make Your Work More Enjoyable 

1.  Embrace your vulnerabilities.  Be human.  Or in other words, don't think for even a second that you are the savior; a hero.  You are a human life given a set of skills and compassion that add value to those who are in jeopardy of losing theirs .  When you find yourself at a loss with how to do something, admit it, get help, and stand by to learn.  Grow in your...

• communication
• learning how to deal with conflicts
• trusting your team
• listening to your own self
• experience your grief and bereavement

2.  Be your own patient (follow your own advice).  I once knew a nurse who would have wonderful counsel for families who were going through the perils of watching their loved ones pass from this life.  She had wonderful points to ponder, great advice on how to cope, spectacular self care discernment for others.  What she didn't have is the ability to put her own counsel into practice.  Don't be like this. 

Try this little exercise to examine whether you "put your money where your mouth is":  take a piece of paper and write down the things you find yourself saying to patients to help them. Things such as get enough protein, get a check up, follow up with your physician, exercise, wean yourself off of the pain medicine as you feel you can.  Once you have 10-15 items, go back and checkmark the ones you yourself follow.  Be ready to find yourself surprised at what spoken valuesare in comparison to practiced values in your life. 

3.  Sleep.  Yes, I said sleep.  You wouldn't believe how many healthcare workers do not get enough sleep and/or rest well.  Blame all kinds of things but the bottom line is care-givers don't get enough shut eye.  

Imagine if you were well rested-each day.  Imagine how much more comforting and patient you would be with yourself, others, and most importantly, your patients.  Imagine how much strength you would have.  Imagine your creative problem-solving skills if you were well rested.  Sleep.  More.  Take a nap, Get a sleep study done if you believe there are sleep issues in your life, hereditary concerns, or if your spouse or family tell you that they get concerned when you sleep because you may be stopping to breath .  Get some rest! 

Hey you medical staff!  Attention social workers, chaplains, and bereavement counselors!  Calling all EMT and Community service officers.  Shouting out to all the doctors... You do amazing work!  You go for the gusto for your patients!  Take yourself seriously and consider these words:  God Bless and Protect you for taking care of your patients.  Please take care of yourself!   

Communications with the Funeral Providers !

Before making the commitment to a funeral home answering service, you should compare the different choices. For your answering service, you need call operators that supply compassion, detailed attention, respect, and urgency, so it’s essential to choose a service that encompasses these aspects as well as other necessary components. When comparing answering services for your funeral home, ask these questions to make sure the company is a good fit for you.

      1. How long have you been providing services for funeral directors?

You want a service that has experience providing phone answering services to funeral homes. The duties of a funeral director are unlike many others, and great attention has to be paid to how bereaving individuals are treated. They expect sympathy and knowledge, and experience is the best teacher. A company with years of positive experience in funeral home answering services will provide the quality you’re looking for.

    

  2. What training do your call specialists receive?

Training for answering phones correctly, providing and receiving the right information, and recording that information is essential. There is no room for error because your reputation is on the line; and a phone call, especially that initial contact, could be the breaking point for gaining a person or losing them. Expect transparency as to how the call specialists are prepared.

      3. What technology is in place and available to me?

As technology continues to advance, the funeral home answering service should be keeping up with it. You should know what they have in place to ensure that all calls are received. Find out what measures they have available, such as text messaging, call recording, live chat, back-up measures and more.

       4. What are your quality assurance measures?

Find out how calls are monitored. You should be able to listen to any calls they have taken and make suggestions or changes based on what fits you. Their standards should be in line with yours.

       5. What packages/prices are available and are they customizable?

Answering services should provide a variety of rate plans. They should also provide flexibility in those plans to fit your needs. Ask about how their services can be tailored to reflect your requirements.

Trusting a funeral home answering service with grieving families is an important decision. With these questions, you’ll be able to make an informed choice and pick the answering service that provides everything you would to families during a difficult time.

Prop-long Treatments

Prolonged grief is a mental illness that affects the patient physically, mentally and socially. As the disease progresses, the individual is at risk for developing a variety of complications that range from mild to severe.

As grief continues to linger, patients are more likely to slide into a deep, profound depression. They have no motivation to perform any task and would rather not interact with the people around them. In the worst cases of depression, the bereaved individual will turn to thoughts of suicide.Without treatment, truly depressed individuals are at a high risk for attempting to kill themselves.

Prolonged grief places a great amount of stress and tension on the affected person. High levels of stress can cause physical illness, the Mayo Clinic warns. Patients suffering from prolonged grief are more likely to suffer from high blood pressure and heart disease. Cancer rates are also elevated in people who suffered from complicated grief.

Unbearable grief often drives people to substance abuse. At first, they turn to mild substances such as alcohol or nicotine but as the grief lingers, patients graduate to more powerful substances like heroin or cocaine. Initially, the individual may turn to substance abuse to alleviate the symptoms of grief; however, over time, they will become addicted to the substance. Addiction to an illicit substance is a whole other disease that brings its own set of complications and usually exacerbates the effects of a grief disorder.

The most telling complication of prolonged grief disorder (PGD) is the inability to deal with daily living. Even the most mundane chores seem daunting to someone suffering from PGD. They will need care and monitoring from a dedicated caregiver. If the grief is not treated, patients will slowly deteriorate physically and psychologically.

The disease also adversely affects the friends and relatives of a person suffering from PGD. They often feel hurt and helpless when they are unable to help their loved one. Some people react with anger or frustration. In most cases, complicated grief places a massive burden on all of the patient’s relationships. Prompt, comprehensive treatment helps prevent any long-term damage to the patient’s interpersonal connections.

Treatment

There Is No Set Treatment Modaity that works in  every case of prolonged grief disorder. Most Medical Professional will design a Treatment Plan that Best Suits the Patient's Specific Symptoms and Life Situation.

The pharmacological options for complicated grief have yet to be established. Antidepressants are the most often used medications as they help patients deal with the symptoms of grief-associated depression. In most cases, pharmacological treatment is secondary to psychotherapy.The best treatment plans use a mix of psychotherapy and medications. In psychotherapy, therapists guide the patient into the basis and foundation of their grief. Patients are encouraged to explore their reaction to grief, their symptoms and their personal goals. An article in Clinical Psychology and Psychotherapy recommends that therapists attempt to redirect the patient’s goals from inward-directed goals (making themselves feel better) to outward-directed goals (goals related to outside events). Therapy should provide the patient with coping mechanisms that reduce feelings of blame and grief.

Interventions

While in the midst their grief, most people are unable to even consider treatment. The longer the grief lasts, the less likely they are to seek treatment for their depression. If left alone, people with prolonged grief are likely to suffer severe complications.

Luckily, most grief-stricken individuals are surrounded by friends and relatives who are willingly to support and help them. Most relatives will recognize the symptoms of prolonged grief disorder and suggest the subject seek medical help. This is usually enough, but in some cases, the patient is resistant to treatment. They may believe that their grief is normal, that they deserve to suffer or that the grief is the best way to hold on to what initially caused the grief.

Overcoming this resistance is usually too difficult for most families. Therefore, instead of approaching the patient on their own, families will employ a professional interventionist and stage an intervention. During the intervention, the team is able to vocalize the numerous adverse effects the prolonged grief has caused. Ideally, the patient will then consider the presented information and agree to undergo treatment.

If you have any questions about interventions, or would like help staging an intervention for your grief-stricken loved one, contact Dr. Losito today. Dr. Losito Is here to help.

Eternal Physician

Since, Thanksgiving and Christmas of 1996, My Pop's death took me back a 1000 feet.  I have experienced a feeling I had never felt before this particular Christmas. Since afterwards every Holy season I started to worry that depression would take hold, and I won’t be ready for it.

My depression has started to creep up on me and it’s not even Thanksgiving yet. Luckily, I went to my own personal Psychologist to see about increasing the milligrams of my antidepressant, I preparing for a potential Holiday depression?  He told me with the Faith that I have there is no need to recommend any medicine. He continued to say, Christ Is the Eternal Physician.  Allow Christ to provide you with the balance and order this Holy Season. For the first time I am taking a step prior to a depression that might not even be that bad, but, I think it is better to prepare for things when you have a history of seasonal depression.

My Trust in Christ the Eternal Physician Is providing me with everything that Is needed to take care of business and provide care to humanity. 

Grief: When Major Loss Challenges Your Beliefs

A major loss can challenge your sense of certainty in your belief system and religious faith. You may find yourself examining many of your values and beliefs, including the purpose of life, death, suffering, and whether there is a higher power. Alternately, you may gain comfort, courage, and hope from your religious beliefs during this time.

It is important to distinguish between religion and spirituality.

• Religion is a system of faith and worship of a divine being. There are many different types of religions. All religions have certain beliefs, practices, and rituals.
• Spirituality is one's personal connection with and questions about the deepest meanings or powers governing life. Some people express their spirituality through their religion. Others may have a system of values and beliefs that does not include worship of a divine being.

There are some ways you can help yourself when you are questioning the purpose of life, death, and suffering.

• Be clear about your feelings. Are you feeling unsure about your religious belief system? Are you angry because you have different beliefs from those of your religion? Are you feeling empty because you do not have a belief system that answers your questions?
• Allow yourself the right to question. You may feel uncomfortable when you have questions that do not seem to have answers. Give yourself permission to say, "I don't have the answer for that right now," or "I don't know why this happened." Saying this instead of making up an answer or giving someone else's answer is often the first step in discovering what you truly believe.
• Talk with someone you trust. Talk with someone who will listen to your concerns and will not try to answer your questions for you. If you talk about it, what is bothering you may become more clear and you may find the answers you are looking for.
• Find a way to handle the feelings that arise. Are you angry with a higher power? Do you want to make a deal with a higher power as a way to avoid further distress and sadness? Are you frustrated with your feelings of helplessness? Do you feel guilty? It is important to recognize your feelings and handle them in the way that helps you resolve them.
• Find answers to your questions about religious beliefs. If you are confused about a specific religious belief, ask someone who knows the answer. Talk with a clergy person. Read religious books or texts.
• List your sources of spiritual (or religious) comfort or practices. What gives you comfort in times of questioning? Do you feel the need to be alone or with other people? Are there practices in your religion that you have not done in some time and would like to try again? If needed, talk with someone who can help you list and do some of the things you choose to do.

If you or someone you know is having trouble addressing religious or spiritual questions that arise while in a bereaved state, talk with a clergy person or a licensed counselor, social worker, or Dr. Losito, Ph.D, Pastoral counseling, which combines the spiritual expertise of a member of the clergy with the skills of a licensed counselor, may be helpful. You can also ask your local librarian to recommend books that can help address your spiritual questions.