Even though the loved one you've been caring for is still alive, you may have already started feeling the weight and pain of their loss.
While some people might think of this as a type of depression, it's really a distinct form of grieving. And it's also a natural, expected response to caring for someone with a long-term or incurable illness.
This kind of grief can hurt as much as what you feel when a loved one dies. Sometimes, it may make the loss after death easier, but not always.
It's real. You can't ignore it and hope to just power through. So allow yourself to process the grief and appreciate the time you have left.
What Is Anticipatory Grief?
Unlike the grief and mourning that happen after someone has passed away, this "anticipatory grief" begins before the person has died. But the emotions can be similar.
When someone has a disease, injury, or condition that permanently changes their personality, like Alzheimer's, the grief may come as it sinks in that your loved one, as you knew them, will be "gone" even before they're gone.
You might have anxiety, dread, or sadness as you wait for their passing.
You could also feel a sense of loss and longing for your independence and freedom as your own life changes because much of your time and energy is now going to someone who needs you. And that can also lead to guilt.
Anger, bitterness, even resentment are common feelings, too, as you're forced to come to terms with the fact that you can't change the outcome.It's important to remember that all of these feelings are normal in such a difficult situation. And often, primary caregivers -- those whose take on the daily responsibility for someone's well-being  -- feel a piece of this loss each day, more deeply and in a way that others in their lives probably don't.
Be Honest About Your Feelings Whether it's a support group, a counselor, a good friend, or within the privacy of a journal, sharing what you're going through can ease those moments when you're sad, powerless, and tired. Your loved one may be dealing with their own grief, and you might find comfort together.
It's OK to cry or admit that you're angry or frustrated. These are helpful ways to keep pent up emotions from turning into resentment toward the person you care for or from taking a toll on your health.

Grief Among Children

At one time, children were considered miniature adults, and their behaviors were expected to be modeled as such. Today there is a greater awareness of developmental differences between childhood and other developmental stages in the human life cycle. Differences between the grieving process for children and the grieving process for adults are recognized. It is now believed that the real issue for grieving children is not whether they grieve, but how they exhibit their grief and mourning.

The primary difference between bereaved adults and bereaved children is that intense emotional and behavioral expressions are not continuous in children. A child's grief may appear more intermittent and briefer than that of an adult, but in fact a child's grief usually lasts longer.

The work of mourning in childhood needs to be addressed repeatedly at different developmental and chronological milestones. Because bereavement is a process that continues over time, children will revisit the loss repeatedly, especially during significant life events (e.g., going to camp, graduating from school, marrying, and experiencing the births of their own children). Children must complete the grieving process, eventually achieving resolution of grief.

Although the experience of loss is unique and highly individualized, several factors can influence a child's grief:

·         Age.

·         Personality.

·         Stage of development.

·         Previous experiences with death.

·         Previous relationship with the deceased.

·         Environment.

·         Cause of death.

·         Patterns of interaction and communication within the family.

·         Stability of family life after the loss.

·         How the child's needs for sustained care are met.

·         Availability of opportunities to share and express feelings and memories.

·         Parental styles of coping with stress.

·         Availability of consistent relationships  with other adults.

Children do not react to loss in the same ways as adults and may not display their feelings as openly as adults do. In addition to verbal communication, grieving children may employ play, drama, art, school work, and stories. Bereaved children may not withdraw into preoccupation with thoughts of the deceased person; they often immerse themselves in activities (e.g., they may be sad one minute and then playing outside with friends the next). Families often incorrectly interpret this behavior to mean the child does not really understand or has already gotten over the death. Neither assumption may be true; children's minds protect them from thoughts and feelings that are too powerful for them to handle.

What Is Mouring and Grieving?

What is grief?


Grief is the normal internal feeling one experiences in reaction to a loss, while bereavement is the state of having experienced that loss. Although people often suffer emotional pain in response to loss of anything that is very important to them (for example, a job, a friendship, one's sense of safety, a home), grief usually refers to the loss of a loved one through death. Grief is quite common, in that three out of four women outlive their spouse, with the average age of becoming a widow being 56 years. More than half of women in the United States are widowed by the time they reach age 65. Every year in the United States, 4% of children under the age of 15 experience the death of a parent.

Although not a formal medical diagnosis, prolonged grief, formerly called complicated grief refers to a reaction to loss that lasts more than one year. It is characterized by the grief reaction intensifying to affect all of the sufferer's close relationships, disrupting his or her beliefs, and it tends to result in the bereaved experiencing ongoing longing for their deceased loved one. About 15% of bereaved individuals will suffer from complicated grief, and one-third of people already getting mental-health services have been found to suffer from this extended grief reaction.

Anticipatory grief is defined as the feelings loved ones have in reaction to knowing that someone they care about is terminally ill. It occurs before the death of the afflicted loved one and can be an important part of the grieving process since this allows time for loved ones to say goodbye to the terminally ill individual, begin to settle affairs, and plan for the funeral or other rituals on behalf of the person who is dying.



What is mourning?


As opposed to grief, which refers to how someone may feel the loss of a loved one, mourning is the outward expression of that loss. Mourning usually involves culturally determined rituals that help the bereaved individuals make sense of the end of their loved one's life and give structure to what can feel like a very confusing time. Therefore, while the internal pain of grief is a more universal phenomenon, how people mourn is influenced by their personal, familial, cultural, religious, and societal beliefs and customs. Everything from how families prepare themselves and their loved ones for death, and understand and react to the passing to the practices for preserving memories of the deceased, their funeral or memorial, burial, cremation or other ways of handling the remains of the deceased is influenced by internal and external factors.

The length of time for a formal mourning period and sometimes the amount of bereavement leave people are allowed to take from work is determined by a combination of personal, familial, cultural, religious, and societal factors. Mourning customs also affect how bereaved individuals may feel comfortable seeking support as well as the appropriate ways for their friends and family to express sympathy during this time. For example, cultures may differ greatly in how much or how little the aggrieved individual may talk about their loss with friends, family members, and coworkers and may determine whether or not participating in a bereavement support group or psychotherapy is acceptable