How to Recommend Counseling

We all have experienced stress, anxiety, depression, grief or relationship problems at some point in our lives, right. Many of us have friends or loved ones who are suffering right now and could benefit from therapy. Nevertheless, how do we tell them to go to therapy?

Telling someone they need therapy can come off very offensive. Therapy itself is still a sensitive issue to talk about. Suggesting to a loved one or friend they need therapy can make them feel as if they are being criticized.

Six Ways to Recommend Therapy:

​Say something sooner than later – try to prevent a larger issue or a full-blown crisis from arising. Avoid minimizing the issue or hoping the problem will go away on its own.

Normalize therapy – you can disclose how you have benefited from therapy. If you have not gone to therapy yourself, express empathy by saying something like, “I see how stressed you are with everything going on right now and you deserve real support beyond our conversations. Have you thought about seeing a therapist for help?”

Do not judge – admitting you need therapy can be hard on its own. Do not diagnose; leave it to the experts. Say something like, “I notice that you don't seem like yourself. I care about you and think a therapist can help you.”

Be reassuring – let them know therapy does not have to be long term for it to be very effective in resolving their issues. Assure them they can find a compassionate, supportive and objective therapist that will provide the insight and tools to empower them professionally and professionally.

Be resourceful – be prepared to share where they can go to find psychiatrists, psychologists or therapists. Psychology Today, many local hospitals and Community Mental Health Centers provide quality and affordable outpatient counseling services, and if they are employed, ask them to check their insurance card or contact HR to inquire about Employee Assistance Program (EAP) benefits. In addition, many schools and Universities offer free or low-cost services. There are also online therapy options such as Open Path for persons from low-income status. Go to openpathcollective.org/ to learn more.

Be supportive – offer to go with them to their first 12 step-program, therapy session or pay for it. If the situation is very serious, consider an intervention or hiring an interventionist. In case of an emergency, always dial 911 or take them to their local emergency room for an evaluation.

Do not let your loved one or friend suffer in silence. Express to them that therapy is not replacing the relationship. If they decide to not go to therapy, you did your part. If the relationship is becoming harmful to you, reevaluate your boundaries with them. You might want to examine if the relationship is worth continuing. We all can benefit from therapy!

What are Advance Directives?

Advance directives center around the principles of your right to die and death with dignity. With an advance directive, you can express how much or how little you want done for you when you are no longer able to make these decisions.

• Advance directives are a way of making your voice heard when you can no longer communicate. They allow you to appoint someone to make your health care decisions for you when you no longer can and to administer or withhold treatment and procedures based on your previously stated wishes. Advance directives are not just for the elderly. All people who desire to direct their medical care in the future should complete an advance directive.
• All 50 states and the District of Columbia have laws regarding advance directives. Authorities also agree that no difference exists between withholding lifesaving treatment and withdrawing life-support treatment. This is especially important in a situation where someone is resuscitated despite his or her wishes because the advance directive could not be found and the person is put on life support. Once the advance directive is shown to health care professionals, life-support measures can be withdrawn according to the advance medical directive.
• An advance directive does not mean "do not treat." This is a common misperception and not correct. Of course, if you want it to mean do not treat, then that is something that your surrogate needs to know.
• Proper execution of an advance directive is a delicate task. A person should discuss this with loved ones and consider personal values and beliefs.

• It is also impossible to think about all the possible medical and social scenarios that may happen in the future during the course of a disease and person's lifetime. Thus, people often change their minds contrary to their living wills while still capable of making their own decisions. Living wills can be modified to reflect any such changes.

Definitions Involved in Advance Directives

Advance directives: An advance directive is a written document or series of forms that must be signed to be binding. The documents indicate an individual's choices about medical treatment.
Two types of advance directives are generally completed: a living will and a medical power of attorney (also referred to as designation of a health care surrogate or health care proxy).

• Living will: This written statement tells health care professionals what type of life-prolonging treatments or procedures to perform if someone has a terminal condition or is in a persistent vegetative state. Living wills should not be confused with a regular will. A living will addresses issues regarding your medical care while you are still living.
• Medical power of attorney (or designation of a health care surrogate): This legal document allows you to select any person to make medical decisions for you if you should become temporarily or even permanently unable to make those decisions for yourself. This person is also referred to as your attorney-in-fact or durable power of attorney for health care. Most people choose a family member, a relative, or a close friend as their surrogate decision maker. It is important that the designated person knows and understands your wishes and preferences and has a written copy of either your living will or medical power of attorney.

Life-prolonging treatments: These are procedures that are not expected to cure your terminal condition. They generally are used to sustain life. Examples of life prolonging treatments include mechanical ventilator (breathing machine), kidney dialysis, and cardiopulmonary resuscitation (CPR).
Terminal condition: A terminal condition is an incurable (without cure) condition that is in its terminal stages.
Persistent vegetative state: This permanent coma or state of being unconscious is caused by injury, disease, or illness. No reasonable expectation of recovery exists.
Do not resuscitate (DNR): This document tells health care professionals and emergency personnel that if your heart stops beating (cardiac arrest) or if you stop breathing (respiratory arrest) that they are not to attempt to revive you by utilizing CPR, chest compressions, intubation, or shocking the heart.
Artificial nutrition and hydration: This procedure is the administration of nutrition and fluids through IV lines and feeding tubes. IV (intravenous) hydration is a common proactice in the hospital by which fluids are delivered into veins. Tube feeding introduces liquid food through a nasal or oral tube into the stomach. Sometimes intravenous (IV) antibiotics are also included in this category. The POLST form (Physician Orders for Life-Sustaining Treatment) addresses the patient's preferences regarding artificial hydration and nutrition. This form can be signed by the patient or their decision maker and the treating physician.

Reel In a Veteran From the Cold

Grief and Loss just steam from death of a family member. We can also experience they way we are treated from employment, living conditions, and how we are perceived from society.

I have provided assistance such a person from rude and crude ways from employer that pushed a much hidden agenda they had other employee providing observations to the senior staff regarding work and other non work related experience. From the very start the patient continuously suffered more from being thrown into a VASH project based housing in another city from where my patient resided.  VA did not provide safe, secure, and warm living conditions after the present administration took everything away from my patient.  While, VA continues” Not” think of the Veteran “Feelings and Thoughts” at all.

Since, the debacle occurred health has taken a toll on the patient with a few long term stays in the Medical Center.  I was the only one that made a visit to ensure proper treatments, care, and provided uplifting improved Self –Esteem.

We are requesting legal assistance  to enroll into the 501 3 (C) program to garner improved Financial Assistance for the Veteran "Hand Up." back into Society the Shadow Administration  imposed upon a Veteran.

We Implore you kind and generous care to provide items and services, which will slingshot my patient back into employment, Improved Living Conditions, along with a vehicle, which will provide transportation for employment with a quick evacuation,when employment is securely secured.    

We have set up an Bereavement Appeal at https://igg.me/at/aEJufQ5xizc  

Items which are currently requested for the Patient Birthday and Re-Entry Appeal

·         Dental and Vision Exams

·         Cardiologist Specialist

·         Retired Flag Officer act as  a Mentor

·         Employment

·         Improved Living Conditions in a Small Patriotic Town

·         Advanced Education

·         2008 Chevrolet Yukon  with trailer hitch

·         Long bed trailer

·         Heart Healthy Foods

·         10 W boots and shoots

·         Business Attire

·         Chevron Fuel Card

·          Laundry and dry cleaning services

·          Full Coverage  Auto Insurance for 1 year

On behalf of the Patient / Veteran, We Are Very Grateful For Your Support and Care. 

Should Be Prayed Often As An Act Of Mercy.

Which are very useful to a dying person, and should be prayed often as an act of mercy.

There once was a Pope in Rome who was surrounded by many sins. The Lord God struck him with a fatal illness. When he saw that he was dying, he summoned cardinals, bishops, and learned persons and said to them: “My dear friends! What comfort can you give me now that I must die, and when I deserve eternal damnation for my sins?” No one answered him. One of them, a pious curate named John said: “Father, why do you doubt the Mercy of God?” The Pope replied: “What comfort can you give me now that I must die and fear that I’ll be damned for my sins?” John replied: “I’ll read three prayers over you; I hope you’ll be comforted and that you’ll obtain Mercy from God.” The Pope was unable to say more. The curate and all those present knelt and said an Our Father, then the following Prayers:

1. Prayer

Lord Jesus Christ! Thou Son of God and Son of the Virgin Mary, God and Man, Thou who in fear sweated blood for us on the Mount of Olives in order to bring peace, and to offer Thy Most Holy Death to God, Thy Heavenly Father, for the salvation of this dying person…if it be, however, that by his sins he merits eternal damnation, then may it be deflected from him. This, O Eternal Father through Our Lord Jesus Christ, Thy Dear Son, Who liveth and reigneth in union with the Holy Spirit now and forever. Amen.

2. Prayer

Lord Jesus Christ! Thou Who meekly died on the trunk of the Cross for us, submitting Thy Will completely to Thy Heavenly Father in order to bring peace and to offer Thy most Holy Death to Thy Heavenly Father in order to free…(this person)… and to hide from him what he has earned with his sins; grant this, O Eternal Father! Through Our Lord, Jesus, Thy Son, Who liveth and reigneth with Thee in union with the Holy Spirit now and forever. Amen.

 3. Prayer

Lord Jesus Christ! Thou Who remained silent to speak through the mouths of the Prophets: I have drawn Thee to me through Eternal Love, which Love drew Thee from Heaven into the body of the Virgin, which Love drew Thee from the body of the Virgin into the valley of this needful world, which Love kept Thee 33 years in this world, and as a sign of Great Love, Thou hast given Thy Holy Body as True Food and Thy Holy Blood as True Drink, as a sign of Great Love, Thou has consented to be a prisoner and to be led from one judge to another and as a sign of Great Love Thou hast consented to be condemned to death, and hast consented to die and to be buried and truly risen, and appeared to Thy Holy Mother and all the Holy Apostles, and as a sign of Great Love Thou hast ascended, under Thy own Strength and Power, and sitteth at the Right Hand of God, Thy Heavenly Father, and Thou has sent Thy Holy Spirit into the hearts of Thy Apostles and the hearts of all who hope and believe in Thee. Through Thy Sign of Eternal Love, open Heaven today and take this dying person…and all his sins into the Realm of Thy Heavenly Father, that he may reign with Thee now and forever. Amen.

 Meanwhile the Pope died. The curate persevered to the third hour, then the Pope appeared to him in body and comforted him. His countenance as brilliant as the sun, his clothes as white as snow, he said: “My dear brother! Whereas I was supposed to be a child of damnation, I’ve become a child of happiness. As you recited the first Prayer, many of my sins fell from me as rain from Heaven, and as you recited the second Prayer, I was purified, as a goldsmith purifies gold in a hot fire. I was still further purified as you recited the third Prayer. Then I saw Heaven open and the Lord, Jesus, standing on the Right Hand of God the Father Who said to me: “Come, all thy sins are forgiven thee, you’ll be and remain in the Realm of My Father forever. Amen!”

With these words, my soul separated from my body and the Angels of God led it to Eternal Joy. As the curate heard this, he said: “O Holy Father! I can’t tell these things to anyone, for they won’t believe me.” Then the Pope said: “Truly I tell thee, the Angel of God stands with me and has written the prayers in letters of gold for the consolation of all sinners. If a person had committed all the sins in the world, but that the three Prayers shall have been read (over him) at his end (death), all his sins will be forgiven him, even though his soul was supposed to suffer until the Last Judgment, it will be redeemed (freed).

The person who hears them read, won’t die an unhappy death, nor in whose house they will be read. Therefore, take these prayers and carry them into St. Peter’s Basilica and lay them in the Chapel named the Assumption of Mary, for certain consolation. The person who will be near death, who reads them or hears them read, gains 400 years indulgence for the days he was supposed to suffer in Purgatory because of his guilt. Also, who reads this Prayer or hears it read, the hour of his death shall be revealed to him. Amen!

Communications with the Funeral Providers !

Before making the commitment to a funeral home answering service, you should compare the different choices. For your answering service, you need call operators that supply compassion, detailed attention, respect, and urgency, so it’s essential to choose a service that encompasses these aspects as well as other necessary components. When comparing answering services for your funeral home, ask these questions to make sure the company is a good fit for you.

      1. How long have you been providing services for funeral directors?

You want a service that has experience providing phone answering services to funeral homes. The duties of a funeral director are unlike many others, and great attention has to be paid to how bereaving individuals are treated. They expect sympathy and knowledge, and experience is the best teacher. A company with years of positive experience in funeral home answering services will provide the quality you’re looking for.

    

  2. What training do your call specialists receive?

Training for answering phones correctly, providing and receiving the right information, and recording that information is essential. There is no room for error because your reputation is on the line; and a phone call, especially that initial contact, could be the breaking point for gaining a person or losing them. Expect transparency as to how the call specialists are prepared.

      3. What technology is in place and available to me?

As technology continues to advance, the funeral home answering service should be keeping up with it. You should know what they have in place to ensure that all calls are received. Find out what measures they have available, such as text messaging, call recording, live chat, back-up measures and more.

       4. What are your quality assurance measures?

Find out how calls are monitored. You should be able to listen to any calls they have taken and make suggestions or changes based on what fits you. Their standards should be in line with yours.

       5. What packages/prices are available and are they customizable?

Answering services should provide a variety of rate plans. They should also provide flexibility in those plans to fit your needs. Ask about how their services can be tailored to reflect your requirements.

Trusting a funeral home answering service with grieving families is an important decision. With these questions, you’ll be able to make an informed choice and pick the answering service that provides everything you would to families during a difficult time.

Pre-Anticiptoray Care toward Cancer

For people diagnosed with cancer, the risk of cancer death falls as physical activity rises, according to a new analysis of more than 70 existing studies.

Researchers found the same holds true for everyone - supporting the current World Health Organization recommendation of moderate physical activity to combat the risk of chronic disease, they write in the British Journal of Sports Medicine.

The WHO recommends two and a half hours of moderate exercise per week for some health benefit and five hours of moderate exercise per week for additional benefit. Half as much time per week of vigorous physical activity, like running, may confer the same benefits.

There are no specific recommendations for physical activity levels to combat cancer risk, although more activity has been tied to lower risk of death from breast, colorectal and prostate cancers, the authors note.

"Our results might help to update the recommendation concerning the advisable amount of physical activity to reduce cancer mortality," said senior author Dr. Li Liu of Huazhong University of Science and Technology in China.

Doctors could start to incorporate physical activity into cancer treatments, Liu told Reuters Health by email.

More on this..    

The researchers included 71 studies of physical activity and cancer death risk in the general population or among cancer survivors.

When they pooled these results, people in the general population who got at least two and half hours of moderate activity like brisk walking, per week, were 13 percent less likely to die from cancer than those with the lowest activity levels.

They also looked at data in terms of MET-hours, a measure of the relative amounts of energy expended in given activities and time spent doing them. Resting represents 1 MET, while a 4-MET activity like brisk walking uses four times as much energy, according to the U.S. Office of Disease Prevention and Health Promotion. Doing a 4-MET activity for 30 minutes equals 2 MET-hours.

Cancer survivors who completed at least 15 MET hours per week of physical activity were 27 percent less likely to die from cancer.

Exercise after cancer diagnosis reduced cancer death risk more than prediagnosis exercise, the study team notes.

Exercise may change the body's response to cancer, and those who exercise more may live healthier lifestyles in other ways as well, Liu said.

But many of the high-quality studies included in this analysis accounted for other healthy-lifestyle factors that may have played a role, Liu noted.

"Physical activity, mostly before diagnosis, and breast cancer mortality has been studied for decades, but only in the last 10 years or so have we been studying physical activity after diagnosis," said Patrick T. Bradshaw of the University of California, Berkeley, who was not part of the new study.

"Other cancers (e.g. colorectal, ovarian) have been studied much less than breast cancer, but some researchers there have also found a reduction in mortality associated with increasing physical activity levels," Bradshaw told Reuters Health by email.

So far, most studies have not been able to address which types of physical activity are most beneficial, he said.

Leisure time physical activity or recreational physical activity, but not occupational activity, is protective against cancer according to most research, Liu said.

"The take-home message here is encouraging - exercise may be beneficial even if started after diagnosis," Bradshaw said.

"Based on huge evidence of the inverse association between physical activity and cancer mortality, there is no doubt that cancer patients should be physically active," Liu said. "We suggest that cancer patients to consult their doctors about a personalized physical activity plan, including exercise time, exercise frequency, exercise mode and so on, which may help to promote the survival of patients without bringing too much physical burden."

Staying Alive Is Not Enough

Here are 7 tips to help during this time:

Here are 7 tips to help during this time:

• If you are mourning for a recent loss make sure to make time for feeling the emotions that arise, whether they are anger, sadness, or pain. There is no need to judge these emotions as good or bad and know that it is Ok to feel these and they will not last forever as all things come and go. You may even create a little ritual where you spend time with the picture or object connected to the person who has passed.
• Friends sometimes get uncomfortable around grief and if they try and make you feel better in the moment, thank them for this, and let them know it is normal and natural to feel how you feel.
• Make sure to also take care of yourself during this time, go out on a walk, make sure to eat healthy.
• Try and open your eyes to the delights around you. It could be a smile on a child’s face or your own. Smelling a wonderful flower or maybe tasting your own favorite food. Even in the midst of grief we can be open to the wonders of life.
• Know your limits and allow yourself to take a break from feeling when it’s becoming overwhelming, but make sure to let your grief know that you will come back. Make a time to revisit it otherwise it will occupy you all day.
• Being altruistic can be a great way to move through grief. Maybe you would like to volunteer at a homeless shelter or make some things for those you care about.
• Support has been known to be very helpful and so joining a grief or support group either online or in person can be enormously supportive.

 More than anything treat yourself with love and kindness during this time, The grief will seem more acute during some times and more subtle during others. May you know deeply, “this too shall pass.”

As always, please share your thoughts, comments, and questions below. Your experiences and additions here provide a living wisdom for us all to benefit from.

Grief During and Aftercare of a Miscarriage .

Of all the things a woman may go through, miscarriage may be one of the most poorly understood. You may feel terribly sad, yet alone, because some of the people closest to you simply don't grasp what you're going through.

They may want to empathize, but not know how to relate, especially if they haven’t experienced a miscarriage themselves. They may not comprehend how real your baby was to you, even though you didn't get to hold it.

Here is a brief look at the very real grief that can happen after miscarriage and suggestions for how to move through it.

Recognizing Grief After Miscarriage

Many women blame themselves for miscarriage. The truth is, most miscarriages are outside your control. Try not to add to your grief by blaming yourself.

You may need time to heal emotionally after you lose a baby to miscarriage. It is very normal to grieve, not just for your baby, but also for all of the dreams you had for you and your child. 

Grief takes different forms for different people. You might feel:

• Angry
• Lonely
• Guilty 
• Unmotivated
• Unable to concentrate

You may find it difficult to be around families with healthy infants for a while. Even after you think you’ve moved on, grief can return without warning. The baby’s due date or Mother's Day can bring back old feelings of sorrow and longing. Some women have a resurgence of grief when they get pregnant again.

How long and deeply you grieve depends upon many different factors. For example, grief can be worse if you miscarry later in your pregnancy because you had more time to get attached to your baby.  It’s possible your grief will be deeper and take longer to work through if you were quite far along in planning for your baby, for instance if you picked a name or decorated the nursery.

Getting Support After Miscarriage

Grief may make you feel like retreating, but try to get the support you need right now and in the future.

Support each other. Your spouse or partner may be grieving as well, even if it is hard to recognize. For instance, you may be angry and he may feel numb. Or you may need to talk, while he can’t find words for his feelings. If you're not connecting, seek the help of a counselor who can help you understand and support each other.

Consider a support group. You may find comfort and healing in a support group with others who have also lost a child to miscarriage. Your hospital or health care provider may be able to refer you to a nearby support group. The group, Share: Pregnancy and Infant Loss Support:  Hand of Compassion continues to strive to provide the nurturing support to the couples of the time and as well as after care.  Dr. Losito, continue to provide the understanding, direction, and nurturing for all the couples.

Find what works for you. Grief has a way of lasting longer than you think it will. You can give yourself time, you can talk to understanding friends and family, but you can’t rush the grief process. Consider planting a tree, giving to a charity, or finding some other way to memorialize your lost baby. Some women try to get pregnant again soon after they miscarry. Others lead support groups or talk to other women who have had the same experience. If you go easy on yourself and stay open, you will find something that works for you. 

Hand of Compassion and Dr. Losito continues to provide support to all Mother's and Loved one involved with the pregnancy.  

Grief Is the Last Act of Love !