No Christmas Sadness

The Celebration of Savior of the World Birthday ought to be most happiness, joy, and fun-filled celebrations spent with family and friends, right? That Seems Not be the case ! For many, the Christmas Season falls far short of these expectations, which can result in increased stress, mild depression, and feelings of anxiety. We call this emotional reaction “Christmas sadness.”

As you think about the Christmas sadness, you may remember a holiday that left you feeling less than festive – a particular situation that sparked your

Christmas sadness. So, what to do? Before we talk about solutions, let us consider a few things that may fuel these feelings. Keep track of how many of these describe your typical Holy Days:

·         Unrealistic holiday expectations – expecting a Holy Day

·         Excessive time demands – work, shopping, parties, decorating, family obligations

• Nostalgic memories of past Christmas celebrations

·         Conflicted family relationships that may worsen during the holidays

·         Overspending on gifts, travel, and entertainment

• Overindulgence in alcohol and Christmas foods

If any of these ring a bell yes, do not despair. There are things you can do to keep the Christmas sadness away.

·         Maintain healthy habits. Eat healthy foods, get plenty of sleep, and exercise regularly.

·         Adopt realistic expectations. Do not expect a perfect HOLY Day – it does not exist. Avoid comparing your Christmas to what you see on social media. Remember, most people only post the good stuff. Do not expect your family members to get along during Christmas, when there is conflict throughout the year.

·         Create a budget. Stick to it. Overspending only worsens the Christmas sadness.

·         Set appropriate limits. Prioritize demands on your time, and say “no” to certain invitations and activities. Be realistic about what you can and cannot do. Pace yourself. Avoid overextending yourself so you do not end up feeling resentful and overwhelmed.

·         Volunteer. Help someone in need or donate a gift to a needy child or family.

·         Enjoy festive Parish and civic activities. Many of these activities are free.

·         Moderate your alcohol consumption. Alcohol is a depressant and can intensify the Christmas Sadness.

• Manage excessive consumption of Christmas foods. Indulging will only add to your stress and feelings of guilt. Eat a healthy snack before going to a Christmas party. Hunger will set you up to overindulge.

If trying to put all of these tips into action feels like too much to tackle, just pick a few that you think will prove most beneficial and try them this year.

Review the list and see how you did. Do you need to add things to your list next year to further improvement Christmas? If yes, make those decisions now while the thought is fresh on your mind, and have your 2018 holiday plan ready to go. By being proactive, you will have one less thing on your commotion list next year.

Christmas Is the Outstanding means to connect with others, to relax and reflect, and to relish feelings of love and gratitude. To keep the holiday blues from diminishing this special time, be mindful of the behaviors and situations that fuel stress and negative feelings, and proactively make choices and decisions that will make your holiday a healthy and enjoyable one.

May the Eternal Physician of the World Heal, Bless, and Protect you.

In case you seek the extra boost, you can contact Dr. Losito via Skype at “menthhealthguy.”

How to Recommend Counseling

We all have experienced stress, anxiety, depression, grief or relationship problems at some point in our lives, right. Many of us have friends or loved ones who are suffering right now and could benefit from therapy. Nevertheless, how do we tell them to go to therapy?

Telling someone they need therapy can come off very offensive. Therapy itself is still a sensitive issue to talk about. Suggesting to a loved one or friend they need therapy can make them feel as if they are being criticized.

Six Ways to Recommend Therapy:

​Say something sooner than later – try to prevent a larger issue or a full-blown crisis from arising. Avoid minimizing the issue or hoping the problem will go away on its own.

Normalize therapy – you can disclose how you have benefited from therapy. If you have not gone to therapy yourself, express empathy by saying something like, “I see how stressed you are with everything going on right now and you deserve real support beyond our conversations. Have you thought about seeing a therapist for help?”

Do not judge – admitting you need therapy can be hard on its own. Do not diagnose; leave it to the experts. Say something like, “I notice that you don't seem like yourself. I care about you and think a therapist can help you.”

Be reassuring – let them know therapy does not have to be long term for it to be very effective in resolving their issues. Assure them they can find a compassionate, supportive and objective therapist that will provide the insight and tools to empower them professionally and professionally.

Be resourceful – be prepared to share where they can go to find psychiatrists, psychologists or therapists. Psychology Today, many local hospitals and Community Mental Health Centers provide quality and affordable outpatient counseling services, and if they are employed, ask them to check their insurance card or contact HR to inquire about Employee Assistance Program (EAP) benefits. In addition, many schools and Universities offer free or low-cost services. There are also online therapy options such as Open Path for persons from low-income status. Go to openpathcollective.org/ to learn more.

Be supportive – offer to go with them to their first 12 step-program, therapy session or pay for it. If the situation is very serious, consider an intervention or hiring an interventionist. In case of an emergency, always dial 911 or take them to their local emergency room for an evaluation.

Do not let your loved one or friend suffer in silence. Express to them that therapy is not replacing the relationship. If they decide to not go to therapy, you did your part. If the relationship is becoming harmful to you, reevaluate your boundaries with them. You might want to examine if the relationship is worth continuing. We all can benefit from therapy!

When a friend is grieving the loss of a loved one, it’s easy to feel helpless. Sometimes we think we’re doing the right thing by trying to cheer them up, pointing out the positives or letting them know that they should try to move on. Well-intentioned as we may be, those efforts tend to put pressure on them and leave them feeling invalidated.

So here are eight ways to help you support your friend in times of need.

Let go of time expectations. The person grieving may struggle for longer than expected. If this happens, regardless of how frustrating or frightening it may be for you, let them grieve for however long they need, knowing you won’t judge them for it.

Recognize the stages of grief. Most people suffering a loss will go through these stages, often in no particular order and sometimes repeating stages: denial, bargaining, anger, depression and acceptance. Each one is healthy and necessary. The more familiar you are with these stages, the better equipped you’ll be to support your friend.

Variables to grief. One person’s grief is never the same as another’s. Variables include the cause and length of death, the personal resiliency of the grieving person, what their previous experiences have been, how large their support network is and their relationship to the person lost. Be understanding of how this can change their experience of grief from your own or someone else you have known.

Resist telling them how strong they are. We are often inclined to praise the person who appears to be coping stoically with a loss. The problem is that we need to allow them to be human and vulnerable sometimes too. After all, there’s strength in letting out your emotions from time to time.

Offer the bereaved ways to memorialize. Funerals and memorial services work to give support and closure to the bereaved. We can also memorialize in other ways, like planting trees, writing letters or having remembrance gatherings.

Ask them what they need. It’s normal to feel you can guess what your friend needs based on what you might need in their position. Because we’re all different, it is best to ask them what it is that you can do for them. If they say “I don’t know” or “nothing,” resist the desire to walk away in your frustration or worry. Just offer your support in whatever way you can and let them know that you will be there when they think of something.

Continue to check in on them. At the time of a funeral, many people offer help and support to the grieving person. As the weeks and months pass everyone’s lives move forward and they generally forget to follow up on their offerings of help and support. Be the person who follows up. You don’t have to give all of your energy, but your caring will be appreciated and will provide untold comfort.

Reel In a Veteran From the Cold

Grief and Loss just steam from death of a family member. We can also experience they way we are treated from employment, living conditions, and how we are perceived from society.

I have provided assistance such a person from rude and crude ways from employer that pushed a much hidden agenda they had other employee providing observations to the senior staff regarding work and other non work related experience. From the very start the patient continuously suffered more from being thrown into a VASH project based housing in another city from where my patient resided.  VA did not provide safe, secure, and warm living conditions after the present administration took everything away from my patient.  While, VA continues” Not” think of the Veteran “Feelings and Thoughts” at all.

Since, the debacle occurred health has taken a toll on the patient with a few long term stays in the Medical Center.  I was the only one that made a visit to ensure proper treatments, care, and provided uplifting improved Self –Esteem.

We are requesting legal assistance  to enroll into the 501 3 (C) program to garner improved Financial Assistance for the Veteran "Hand Up." back into Society the Shadow Administration  imposed upon a Veteran.

We Implore you kind and generous care to provide items and services, which will slingshot my patient back into employment, Improved Living Conditions, along with a vehicle, which will provide transportation for employment with a quick evacuation,when employment is securely secured.    

We have set up an Bereavement Appeal at https://igg.me/at/aEJufQ5xizc  

Items which are currently requested for the Patient Birthday and Re-Entry Appeal

·         Dental and Vision Exams

·         Cardiologist Specialist

·         Retired Flag Officer act as  a Mentor

·         Employment

·         Improved Living Conditions in a Small Patriotic Town

·         Advanced Education

·         2008 Chevrolet Yukon  with trailer hitch

·         Long bed trailer

·         Heart Healthy Foods

·         10 W boots and shoots

·         Business Attire

·         Chevron Fuel Card

·          Laundry and dry cleaning services

·          Full Coverage  Auto Insurance for 1 year

On behalf of the Patient / Veteran, We Are Very Grateful For Your Support and Care. 

3 Tips to Make Your Work More Enjoyable

After spending 10 plus  years in hospice work and being a Chaplain for 18 I have learned a few things about healthcare workers:  they are usually exhausted, under-valued, and not paid well.  You show me someone who works hard everyday work day and I will point you to a healthcare worker.  For Sure  Yes !

Don't get me wrong.  I am NOT saying that engineers or railroad technicians don't put in a good days work.  I am NOT saying that teachers are slackers and those who work in accounting have "posh" jobs.  I am not even saying that pastors, clergy, and chaplains have it easy.  What I AM SAYING is that caregivers, healthcare workers, hospice and palliative care workers have demanding jobs with the added stress of "life being in their hands". 

So if you are a healthcare worker, if you take care of the elderly, disabled, work in the hospital, hospice, palliative care, ER, Intensive Care, or with rehabilitation- this one is for you!

3 Tips to Make Your Work More Enjoyable 

1.  Embrace your vulnerabilities.  Be human.  Or in other words, don't think for even a second that you are the savior; a hero.  You are a human life given a set of skills and compassion that add value to those who are in jeopardy of losing theirs .  When you find yourself at a loss with how to do something, admit it, get help, and stand by to learn.  Grow in your...

• communication
• learning how to deal with conflicts
• trusting your team
• listening to your own self
• experience your grief and bereavement

2.  Be your own patient (follow your own advice).  I once knew a nurse who would have wonderful counsel for families who were going through the perils of watching their loved ones pass from this life.  She had wonderful points to ponder, great advice on how to cope, spectacular self care discernment for others.  What she didn't have is the ability to put her own counsel into practice.  Don't be like this. 

Try this little exercise to examine whether you "put your money where your mouth is":  take a piece of paper and write down the things you find yourself saying to patients to help them. Things such as get enough protein, get a check up, follow up with your physician, exercise, wean yourself off of the pain medicine as you feel you can.  Once you have 10-15 items, go back and checkmark the ones you yourself follow.  Be ready to find yourself surprised at what spoken valuesare in comparison to practiced values in your life. 

3.  Sleep.  Yes, I said sleep.  You wouldn't believe how many healthcare workers do not get enough sleep and/or rest well.  Blame all kinds of things but the bottom line is care-givers don't get enough shut eye.  

Imagine if you were well rested-each day.  Imagine how much more comforting and patient you would be with yourself, others, and most importantly, your patients.  Imagine how much strength you would have.  Imagine your creative problem-solving skills if you were well rested.  Sleep.  More.  Take a nap, Get a sleep study done if you believe there are sleep issues in your life, hereditary concerns, or if your spouse or family tell you that they get concerned when you sleep because you may be stopping to breath .  Get some rest! 

Hey you medical staff!  Attention social workers, chaplains, and bereavement counselors!  Calling all EMT and Community service officers.  Shouting out to all the doctors... You do amazing work!  You go for the gusto for your patients!  Take yourself seriously and consider these words:  God Bless and Protect you for taking care of your patients.  Please take care of yourself!