Saint Terry's Hospice and Palliative Care

 Saint Terry's is a State of Art Hospice located in Las Vegas, Nevada.  I am now on Staff as the Bereavement Care Director. 

I continue to provide assistance to everyone is enrolled into Saint Terry's.  In case you are in Las Vegas, Nevada and you require a loved one to be placed into Hospice Saint Terry's is the Absolute Best. 

Saint Terry's is located at 3824 South Jones Boulevard, Suite F Las Vegas Nevada 89103. Telephone (702) 857-7707. Miriam Kuchakhian, RN Is the Intake Coordinator, who will promptly have a Nurse Case Manager to come out to your home or assisting living where your Loved One is located. 

I will be available when you require Bereavement Care Support. 

Unexpected Death

If you truly want to honor your deceased loved one let their dying and death stir you up!
Death wasn’t designed to be neat and clean. It wasn’t created to be efficient and medicalized.  It wasn’t fashioned to be politically correct or professional. Death was designed to stir us up and get our attention, to bring us present to life so to speak.

In a way death was designed to wake us up, to remind us we are alive, to get us back on purpose. Let me give you several examples that demonstrate what I mean.

My Father's Vincent's unexpected death back in February 1996, which was my 36th birthday sure a great loss to all of us who knew and loved him. I miss him deeply to this very day.  That being said I turned my life upside down for the better because of his death! I realized no matter how much wealth I amassed or how many assets I had none of them would get my father back. I also saw that I was not so happy in my career, it was no longer me.  I quit shortly after, moved out west and began a new career in community and hospice.  My Pop's death as uncomfortable as it was also a gift –
I got to reinvent myself!

My Mentor Monsignor Andrew V. Coffey, PA, death in  August 2010 - I had a similar impact on my life. Experienced him die over a 12 years particularly in the last five months of his life was really uncomfortable – it was very hard to witness. I wasn’t in denial – I was in discomfort! Previously, I Was him in Davis on a Saturday how much pain he was in during that time. He even prepared me lunch, which I loved a lot. The next 72 hours he entered Mercy McMahon. I knew then, I would not see him alive again.

Monsignor's death reminded me loudly that I was alive and he was dead – how extremely Blessed I am to BE alive. It shook me up in a very real way. Being with Father Andrew, as he was dying my body got a first hand wake up call on a cellular level. If my body could speak this is what it would say;  “You too are going to die. Get on with fully living your life. You have no time to waste.” And so I have.  Again, a sad and painful loss enlivened my own life.

I saw first hand their pain and grief – sometimes I witnessed their upset, anger, and confusion as end of life planning was not done or done poorly. Example after example taught me how very important great end of life preparation is. The pain families went through, though difficult and sometimes uncomfortable to witness, inspired me to get all my end of life paperwork in order and further to talk with my immediate family about the contents of my ‘death binder’. Now complete and there to guide my family in the event of my death I feel I have done what a responsible person, husband, and father would do. I have a deeper sense of freedom given all is in place, relief if you will, knowing my family responsibilities have been handled. Now I am getting on with living fully.

So, notice in each of these three examples despite the loss, the sadness, the grief, and the pain there was a ‘gift’. My willingness to be in the discomfort of the loss, to feel it deeply and experience it fully opened the door to me being able to discover the wisdom there was to glean from the death I had witnessed. I let death be my teacher. Had I run from the discomfort, covered up and pulled away from the raw reality of the dying and the death I would not have stumbled into the lessons death provided for me.

Instead of pulling back from dying and death step towards it. Be willing to feel the discomfort, the loss, the missing, and the grief in a real and human way. Doing this opens the door for profound learning and keys to living life even more fully – to live with passionate abandon.

What Is the Cause

Grief and grieving are the natural response to a major loss, 

such as the death of a loved one. Loss can cause feelings of 

grief, sometimes when you least expect it.

You may find that old feelings of grief from past loss can be 

triggered by current experiences or anniversaries of that loss. 

This is normal.

Anticipatory grief is grief that happens in advance of an impending loss. You may feel 

anticipatory grief because a loved one is sick and dying. Anticipatory grief helps us prepare 

for loss.

Pre - Bereavement Care and Thoughts

It’s tragically common for patients to ignore warnings of other types of cancer, adds Dale Shepard, MD, PhD, a cancer specialist in the department of solid tumor oncology at the Cleveland Clinic. “Cancer can almost always be cured if it’s caught early, but all too often, people wait so long to see a doctor that the disease has spread to the point that it’s no longer curable.”

If you notice any of the following unexplained warning signs, don’t delay—make the time to consult a doctor promptly.

• Unexplained weight loss. While most people would be happy to drop pounds without dieting, unexplained weight loss (of 10 or more pounds) or sudden loss of appetite are among the most common warning signs of cancer, says Dr. Shepard. This symptom is most likely to occur with cancers of the pancreas, stomach, esophagus or lung, reports the American Cancer Society (ACS). It may turn out not to be cancer—there are a number of other serious health conditions that may cause this symptom, including an overactive thyroid, diabetes, liver disease, and depression.

• Persistent low-grade fever. This can be the first symptom of certain cancers, particularly leukemia, Hodgkin’s disease or non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma. Low-grade fever—meaning a temperature between 99.8 and 100.8—can also be caused by a wide range of infections. 

• Worsening fatigue. “If you suddenly can’t get through the day without taking a 3-or 4-four nap, when you never need one before, that can be suggestive of cancer,” says Dr. Shepard. According to the ACS report, this symptom is particularly likely to occur with leukemia, as well as cancers that cause blood loss, such as colon cancer or stomach cancer. Other medical conditions that cause profound exhaustion include anemia, sleep disorders, heart problems, diabetes, fibromyalgia, and arthritis.

• A sore that doesn’t heal or skin changes. You probably know that moles that are asymmetrical (one half doesn’t match the other), have irregular borders, contain a variety of colors, or are larger than a pencil eraser can bewarning signs of melanoma, the deadliest form of skin cancer. What’s not well known, however, is that skin sores or changes (including a persistent rash) can also herald other forms of cancer. Dr. Shepard had a patient whose first symptom of colon cancer was a sore on his scalp that didn’t heal. He has also had patients with lung cancer and lymphoma whose symptoms included persistent rashes.

What Does Skin Cancer Look Like?

• Trouble swallowing or chronic hoarseness. These symptoms, along with lip sores that don’t heal, unusual bleeding, pain or numbness in the mouth, and chronic sore throat, can herald oral cancer. Other reasons for chronic hoarseness can include gastroesophageal reflux disease (GERD), allergies, cancer of the throat or laryngx, smoking, and underactive thyroid, reports the National Institute of Health. A wide range of esophageal disorders can impair swallowing.

• White patches in your mouth. Also known as leukoplakia, these thickened whitish or gray patches on the gums, inside of the cheeks, or the tongue are often mistaken for thrush (an infection that causes white patches). Unlike thrush, which can be scraped away, leukoplakia cannot be removed in this manner. While the condition isn’t always harmful, oral cancer often occurs near leukoplakia patches, the Mayo Clinic reports, and the patches themselves can develop cancerous changes.

• Blood in the toilet. This symptom is frequently dismissed by patients, says Dr. Shepard. “People are quick to think that the problem is a urinary tract infection even if they’ve never had one before. However, blood in the urine can also be a sign of bladder cancer and needs to be investigated by a urologist. Oftentimes, bladder cancer isn’t diagnosed until it reaches an incurable stage because people wait so long to see a doctor.” Similarly, it can be a dangerous mistake to dismiss blood in the stool as being triggered by a hemorrhoid, since it could also be a warning sign of colon cancer, as is any change in your normal bowel habits.

• Unexplained pain. This can be an early symptom of testicular or bone cancer. A headache that doesn’t get better with treatment, such as taking an over-the-counter pain reliever, may signal a brain tumor, while back pain can mark colon or ovarian cancer, the ACS reports. “Unexplained pain is one of the more common symptoms of cancer and always warrants a consultation with your doctor,” says Dr. Shepard.

• A lump or thickening. Several types of cancer, including those of the breast, testicles, and lymph nodes can be felt through the skin. A lump or thickening can either be an early or late sign of cancer, ACS reports. Also be aware that in some cases, breast cancer can cause red or thickened skin, rather than the expected lump, so any change in how your breast looks or feels needs to be checked out. 

• Any persistent, unexplained or troubling symptom. “If something doesn’t seem right, don’t assume it’s nothing,” says Dr. Shepard. ”Listening to your body and getting this symptom checked out sooner rather than later could save your life if the problem turns out to be cancer.”

Pre-Anticipatory Grief

The death of someone close to us is the most severe stressor imaginable. Bereavement brings a high risk of mental and physical health problems for a long time afterward.

Grieving is a completely natural process, but it can be profoundly painful and distressing.
Occasionally we are aware in advance that someone is reaching the end of his or her life, and in this case the experience of grieving partly begins before their death occurs.

To a certain extent it is impossible to be prepared for the loss of a loved one. It is a time of overwhelming emotions. Despite these feelings, however, it may be possible to plan ahead for this difficult time, particularly to ease any practical issues surrounding the eventual death. This can help reduce the complications in the first hours and days of bereavement, and also later as you struggle to carry on. Taking action in advance can be comforting because you are able just to cope with the circumstances without the added pressure to “get yourself together” and sort things out.

• Build a network of caring people. Family friends, neighbors, colleagues and strangers in a self-help group who have “been there” can give support. Let the people close to you know what you’re going through and warn them that you may soon need more support that usual, or not to be offended if you don’t contact them for a while.
  Knowing when to ask for help is important and so is being allowed to be alone with your thoughts. One of the keys to coping is to consider bereavement as a normal natural part of life which can be a topic of conversation without fear or discomfort.
• Look after yourself physically. Try to eat well and get plenty of rest. It is very easy to overlook your physical needs when you are busy dealing with everything that has to be done surrounding a death or struggling with grief.You may have difficulty getting to sleep, and your sleep may be disturbed by vivid dreams and long periods of wakefulness. You may also lose your appetite, feel tense and short of breath, or drained and lethargic. Don’t try to do too much.
• If possible, speak to your boss about having time off work or at least delegating some of your workload to a colleague. Gather information on the financial and legal aspects of bereavement in advance, so you feel less overwhelmed.
• Prepare children by explaining the situation and how they are likely to feel at the time of the death and afterward. Warn them if any practical arrangements are going to change. Think about whether to find a specially-trained counselor to help them, and keep their school informed.

Emotionally, you will be getting used to the idea of the loss, but this may happen gradually, in fits and starts. It is often not as simple as it sounds, especially if you have known the person for a long time. You may switch between talking rationally about the situation, then have a sudden surge of hope that the person will recover.

Talking about the future loss may help you get used to the reality of the death and work through some of the pain. Remember it isn’t morbid to talk about death, and it’s sensible to be prepared for it as far as possible. At times, you may be the person who can support others also affected by the loss. As you do this you will probably, slowly, find a way of imagining life after the loss, with the person in your thoughts and memories.

Depression is a natural part of grief, and usually lifts of its own accord. But if it doesn't, you may begin to worry that you are becoming clinically depressed. This can be treated and there are different ways of getting through it, which you could discuss with your medical doctor.

Reasons For Making a Will

It is important for you to make a will because if you do not, and die without a will, the law on intestacy decides what happens to your property. A will can ensure that proper arrangements are made for your dependants and that your property is distributed in the way you wish after you die, subject to certain rights of spouses/civil partners and children.
It is also advisable to complete and keep updated a list of your assets. You can use a form such as our form, Where my possessions are kept. It will make it easier to identify and trace your assets after you die. You should keep the list in a safe place.

What happens if you die having made a will

If you have made a will, you are called a testator (male) or testatrix (female). A person who dies having made a valid will is said to have died 'testate'. If you die testate, then all your possessions will be distributed in the way you set out in your will. It is the job of the executor or executors you named in your will to make sure this happens. There are legal limits as to how much of your property goes to which person, as set out in law in the Succession Act, 1965. An executor can be a beneficiary under the will. In other words, the executor can also inherit under the will.
After you die, somebody has to deal with your estate, by gathering together all your money and possessions, paying any debts you owe and then distributing what is left to the people who are entitled to it. If you leave a will before you die, one or more of the executors you named in your will usually has to get legal permission from the Probate Office or the District Probate Registry for the area in which you lived at the time of death to do this. Permission comes in the form of a document called a Grant of Representation.
If you did not name any executors in your will or if the executors are unable or unwilling to apply for a Grant of Representation, documents called Letters of Administration (With Will) are issued. When your estate is distributed, the legal rights of your spouse/civil partner and children, if any, will be fulfilled first after any debts are paid before any other gifts are considered.

What happens if you die without a will or your will is invalid

A person who dies without a will is said to have died 'intestate'. If you die intestate, this means your estate, or everything that you own, is distributed in accordance with the law by an administrator. To do this, the administrator needs permission in the form of a Grant of Representation. When a person dies without a will or when their will is invalid, this Grant is issued as Letters of Administration by the Probate Office or the District Probate Registry for the area in which the person lived at the time of death.